Dying pets, eating oil, and bathroom births

British newspapers are reporting stories about dogs in China being dyed to look like pandas and tigers. Animal rights activists are protesting the fad, but the Chinese argue that when dining, presentation is everything.


Several summer music festivals are showcasing artists covering entire albums of other musicians' works. P. Diddy was like, "What's the big deal? I've been doing this for years."


President Obama said he would have fired British Petroleum's CEO Tony Hayward for downplaying the Gulf oil spill, to which Hayward replied, "That's it? What about the other stuff - lying about the amount of oil in the gulf, not having a back up plan, constantly impersonating Mr. Bean?"


According to experts, oil that washes up on shores isn't that dangerous and swallowing oil-tainted water does not require a trip to the emergency room. The oil-coated animals were like, "Yeah, thanks for the advice. Enjoy your shower."


According to a new study, four out of five poker players use legal and illicit drugs to improve their game, allowing poker to finally be classified as a sport.


A woman unexpectedly gave birth in the toilet of her cabin on a Carnival cruise ship last month. Not to worry - her daughter Latrina is doing just fine.


Spirit Airlines pledged to keep flying passengers even if its pilots decide to strike on Saturday. In a related story, Spirit is offering discounts to people who know how to fly planes.


A New York couple was married this week in an Atlantis Marine World shark tank. The bride was like, "You think this is scary? You should have seen the pre-nup."


Sandra Bullock made a surprise appearance at Spike TV's "Guys Choice" event in Culver City. Jessee James could not be seen at the event, mostly because he was cowering under his seat.


Experts are warning that frequent cocaine use can lead to rotting flesh. People in LA breathed a sigh of relief when they learned that the flesh has to be real.


A Southern California mother whose two children were reported missing 15 years ago tracked them down using Facebook. Upon learning she was their mom, they kids unfriended her immediately.