Healthcare providers are pledging to stop the overuse of radiation on patients during medical exams. Luckily, the TSA is picking up where they left off.
The TSA says there'll be no more physical searches beyond the enhanced pat-downs put in place. Mainly, because there's no where left to go.
A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested for masturbating in the toy aisle of a Walmart. To his defense, have you seen the new Happy Birthday Barbie?
New research shows there is a gene associated with women who have lots of casual, uncommitted sex. While researches have labeled the gene DRD4, men are calling it "awesome."
Some states where the death penalty is legal are experiencing a shortage of one of the drugs used for lethal injections, and asking Texas for some of theirs. Texas is like, "You really think we have any left over?"
A New York City high school teacher was suspended for saying the word "coño" in his class, which can be interpreted as profanity. Sadly, it was the only time the students actually paid attention.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Black Friday butt-ins, offline celebrities, and urine in today's Plunder
Somali-born U.S. citizen Mohamed Osman Mohamud was arrested after he attempted to blow up a fake car bomb sold to him by undercover FBI agents. A disappointed Mohamud later told reporters, "You can't trust anyone these days."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Flipping the bird, diseased lungs, and SPAM in today's Plunder
A 34-year-old British man has been arrested for giving "the finger" to an airport worker in Dubai. In a related story, a 34-year-old British man was high-fived after giving the finger to an airport worker at LaGuardia.
New research shows that teens who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to have had sex or use drugs, while adults who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to get bad press for the Minnesota Vikings.
The federal government announced plans for cigarette packages to include graphic images, including corpses, diseased lungs, and photos of Keith Richards.
The U.S. Coast Guard and the U.S. Navy brought Spam and croissants to passengers stranded on the disabled Carnival Splendor cruise ship. Thankfully, it was all you can eat.
Queen Elizabeth II has her own Facebook page, with over 57,000 followers. Her next step toward joining the 21st Century is learning how to work the remote control.
Lindsay Lohan's mother told Matt Lauer that Lindsay eventually wants to start her own rehabilitation facilities. To ensure they're of the highest standards, Lindsay plans to test them out herself.
As many as 16 people fainted after previewing the movie 127 Hours, in which James Franco stars as a hiker who amputates his own arm. This is not to be confused with the hundreds of people fell asleep during Sex and the City 2.
Eight middle school students in Los Angeles were taken to the hospital after eating a drug-laced chocolate bar bought at a skate shop. Teachers have since tested more of the bars to be sure they're the source of the problem.
Some New Yorkers may have to run their water a while before drinking it after recent tests showed elevated levels of lead. However, Staten Island residents can continue to chew their water as usual.
According to a recent Zagat Survey, 63% of people say it's rude to talk on cellphones at restaurants, unless they're the ones doing it.
Slurpee wants to take Barack Obama at his word and hold a post-election Slurpee Summit. This will be followed by a Brain Freeze Summit hosted by Vice President Biden.
George W. Bush told Matt Lauer that the "all-time low" of his presidency was when Kanye West said "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Bush denied the remarks, saying he cared about every person in New Orleans who he flew over.
George W. Bush writes in his new memoir that Vice President Dick Cheney offered to leave in 2004, and that accepting the offer would have shown that Bush was in charge. However, Bush ultimately decided to let Cheney stay in charge.
Alcohol is more dangerous than illegal drugs, like heroin and crack, according to a new study by British experts. That makes England one of the most dangerous countries in the world.
New research shows that teens who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to have had sex or use drugs, while adults who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to get bad press for the Minnesota Vikings.
The federal government announced plans for cigarette packages to include graphic images, including corpses, diseased lungs, and photos of Keith Richards.
The U.S. Coast Guard and the U.S. Navy brought Spam and croissants to passengers stranded on the disabled Carnival Splendor cruise ship. Thankfully, it was all you can eat.
Queen Elizabeth II has her own Facebook page, with over 57,000 followers. Her next step toward joining the 21st Century is learning how to work the remote control.
Lindsay Lohan's mother told Matt Lauer that Lindsay eventually wants to start her own rehabilitation facilities. To ensure they're of the highest standards, Lindsay plans to test them out herself.
As many as 16 people fainted after previewing the movie 127 Hours, in which James Franco stars as a hiker who amputates his own arm. This is not to be confused with the hundreds of people fell asleep during Sex and the City 2.
Eight middle school students in Los Angeles were taken to the hospital after eating a drug-laced chocolate bar bought at a skate shop. Teachers have since tested more of the bars to be sure they're the source of the problem.
Some New Yorkers may have to run their water a while before drinking it after recent tests showed elevated levels of lead. However, Staten Island residents can continue to chew their water as usual.
According to a recent Zagat Survey, 63% of people say it's rude to talk on cellphones at restaurants, unless they're the ones doing it.
Slurpee wants to take Barack Obama at his word and hold a post-election Slurpee Summit. This will be followed by a Brain Freeze Summit hosted by Vice President Biden.
George W. Bush told Matt Lauer that the "all-time low" of his presidency was when Kanye West said "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Bush denied the remarks, saying he cared about every person in New Orleans who he flew over.
George W. Bush writes in his new memoir that Vice President Dick Cheney offered to leave in 2004, and that accepting the offer would have shown that Bush was in charge. However, Bush ultimately decided to let Cheney stay in charge.
Alcohol is more dangerous than illegal drugs, like heroin and crack, according to a new study by British experts. That makes England one of the most dangerous countries in the world.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)