Somali-born U.S. citizen Mohamed Osman Mohamud was arrested after he attempted to blow up a fake car bomb sold to him by undercover FBI agents. A disappointed Mohamud later told reporters, "You can't trust anyone these days."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
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