Crystal balls, missing teeth and drug trafficking

More than 1,000 people were slain in the Mexican city of Ciudad Juárez in early 2009, prompting the city to change its slogan from "The best border in Mexico" to "Duck!"


The New Year's Eve crystal ball that drops in Times Square will have a new design that includes nearly 300 Waterford crystal triangles. The ball will then be returned to J-Lo's finger.


Mississippi and Alabama have topped the Pew Research Center's list of most religious states. The states also top the center's list of locations with fewest teeth.


An Illinois zoo has raised $20,884 by selling necklaces and ornaments made from reindeer droppings. Jessica Simpson is suing the zoo for infringing on her sole right to sell crap.


A new Sync in-car system for Ford will allow for a secure wireless connection capable of supporting several high-tech devices simultaneously. The system will require a USB port, a 3G stick, and a helmet.


The Associated Press has reported that 22 million missing Bush White House e-mails have been found. According to the e-mails, the president was disappointed about the lack of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and couldn't wait for the release of "New Moon."

Sweat shops, surcharges, and porn

A statue of Barack Obama as a 10-year-old has been unveiled in a park in Indonesia, where he lived as a boy. The statue is placed where other 10-year-old Indonesian children can see it on their way to work.


A California teen downloaded 1.5 million kilobytes of data, causing his father’s bill to be more than $21,917. A spokesman for Verizon quickly corrected the situation, saying, “It’s actually $35,937, after taxes and surcharges.”


Larry Flynt is suing his porn-peddling nephews for trademark infringement. His nephews insist, however, their product is high-quality and brings back “the class and elegance of erotica. And by ‘class and elegance’ we mean lots of close-ups.”


A red tin can holding more than $10,000 in cash turned up at a customer service counter at a Kmart store in Des Moines. Sources say the only marking on the mysterious container is a sticker that reads “Salvation Army.”


AT&T is considering ways to encourage customers to use less wireless data, due to recent struggles to keep up with demand. One of the proposed solutions is to randomly cut off service. “Oh wait,” said one spokesperson, "we already do that."


A calf with a white marking on its forehead in the shape of a cross was born last week at a dairy farm in Connecticut. The calf’s owner said he thinks the marking may be a message from above, and will look great on his new jacket.

Girls Gone Wild, Israel on Facebook, and UFOs

A Florida judge wants to see footage of “Girls Gone Wild” so he can decide on a motion to dismiss a civil suit against its founder. After viewing the videos closely, he will determine which motions to dismiss, and which to watch again and again.


The Israeli Defense Forces plan to use Facebook, Twitter and YouTube to represent Israel independently on the Internet and in other arenas. Palestine “Dislikes” this.


John Mellencamp's 14-year-old son has started a Facebook campaign to get his dad to quit smoking, which Mellencamp promised to do if 1 million people join. In related news, the White House has started its own Facebook campaign to get Vice President Biden to quit talking.


A British Bishop is slamming Christmas carols like, “Away in a Manger,” for trivializing the holiday, and asks, "How can any adult sing this without embarrassment?" The same has been said about David Haselhoff’s album, “Night Rocker.”


Britain’s Ministry of Defense has pulled the plug on its UFO hotline, after 50 years of maintaining the service. While the hotline does get some activity, most calls to report aliens are coming from Los Angeles.


Boston's Public Health Commission has determined that songs by Jamie Foxx and Lady Gaga are the musical equivalent of “junk food,” whereas songs by Madonna are considered “stale food.”


Darpa, the Pentagon’s research agency, is offering $40,000 to anyone who can find 10 red balloons they have placed anywhere in the United States. Richard Heen has contacted local media outlets to help him with the search.


Boise Valley Christian Communion is donating up to $10,000 to help people pay parking tickets. According to the church’s pastor, the gesture is to show that forgives abounds, until your meter runs out.

Sully sex, cheap wine, and too much TV

Pilot Chesley Sullenberger joked that safely landing a disabled jetliner brought him "rock star sex" in an interview for NBC's People of the Year TV special. Sullenberger’s daughters have not been able to eat since.


Adam Lambert is offering no apology for kissing a male keyboard player and having a dancer simulate oral sex on him during the American Music Awards performance. In related news, Paul Shaffer has invited Lambert to appear on The Tonight Show with David Letterman.


A new study has found that preschoolers in home-based day cares are spending as many as two hours a day in front of a TV. Parents were outraged, as children at home get at least five to eight.


Sober Sam, a start-up designated-driver service in South Jersey, is picking up business due to the holiday rush. The company said it doesn’t see any sign of things slowing down, as Lindsey Lohan has reserved the service for the next three months.


More than 80,000 people have been injured in hot tubs since 1990, according a report by the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System. The report said the main cause injury was getting slapped in the face.


A 13-year-old Brooklyn boy spent 11 days in the New York Subway System. While no one can spot the boy among thousands of hours of security footage, there is ample evidence of a couple making out on the E train.


Too much cleanliness can interfere with the ability of the skin to heal, according to new U.S. medical research, which explains why Amy Winehouse has such a great complexion.


An industry group said that cheap wine could be consumed more in United States, due to economic woes. The affects of this have already been seen in more homeless people drinking out of large boxes.


The United Homeless Organization is an elaborate fraud, according to a complaint filed by New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. Homeless people were disappointed by the discovery, saying the money should have gone to more worthy causes, like drugs or cheap wine.


Michael Jackson's former personal physician has returned to work, despite the attention and threats. According to his lawyer, Dr. Conrad Murray plans to “attend to patients who have continued to support him,” adding, “by giving them large doses of whatever they want.”


Seven bulls being used on the set of a film starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz broke free while shooting in Spain. The bulls were apparently offended when Cruise called them glib.

Taylor Swift greeting cards, goat carcasses, pedophiles, and more

Taylor Swift has partnered with American Greetings Corp. to create a line of greeting cards and other stationery. In other news, Maria Carey is coming out with a line of greeting cards that is rumored to be much better than Swift's.


Buzkashi, a sport played with a headless goat carcass, is undergoing a revival in Afghanistan with more games, players, and spectators than ever before. While repulsive to most Westerners, the game already has more fans than the WNBA.


NASA said last week that contrary to doomsday predictions, the world is not ending in 2012, although the fact that Sarah Palin can sell signed copies of her book for $100 leads some to believe that the apocalypse is near.


A new report finds that the average male in the United States has added 17.1 pounds in the past 20 years, while the average female has added 15.4 pounds — but doesn't look fat at all, according to the average male.


Colorado's state attorney has concluded that medical marijuana can be taxed, allowing the state to collect up to $15 million a year on sales, and allowing Taco Bell to continue selling record numbers of Chalupas.


President Dmitri A. Medvedev called for reforms to Russia during his state of the nation address, saying “...modernization will be based on the values and institutions of democracy.” Guards then pointed rifles at anyone who did not applaud.


Video bingo has become a topic of debate in Alabama. While some say it's gambling and should be banned, others strongly support the past-time. Meanwhile, residents are dealing with troubles of their own in trying to get their bingo chips to stay on the screens.


Richard Heen, father of the boy he'd falsely reported was in a runaway balloon, will plead guilty to felony charges of influencing a public servant. Heen said he took the blame to prevent his wife's possible deportation to Japan. If deported, however, Heen said he has a creative way to get her there.


The U.S. Postal Service will no longer forward "Dear Santa" letters to the Alaska town of North Pole, citing concerns about the names, addresses, and other private information about children getting into the wrong hands. Santa responded by saying, “Those charges against Vixen were never proven."


Zookeepers at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo have reported that a tortoise they’ve been calling “Mary” for the past 50 years is actually a male. The tortoise has since been renamed “Gaga.”

Police in Peru have broken up a gang that allegedly killed dozens of people to extract their fat and sell it for use in cosmetics. The bust puts a huge damper on L'Oreal's new new make-up line, “Dead Sexy.”


Oprah Winfrey is set to announce Friday that she's ending her show when her current contract expires in 2011, capping her 25-year career on national TV. Winfrey then plans to join the New York Jets.


Nestle said heavy rains have made it difficult to pick pumpkins, limiting the amount of Libby's pumpkin pie products available for Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, there is no relief in site for the shortage of Eggo waffles Kellogg’s reported earlier this week. In other news, locusts have devoured all Little Debbie snack cakes and Campbell’s soups have reportedly turned to blood.

Swiss Government Fights Google Over Street View

Switzerland’s privacy watchdog said it plans to take Google to court to force it to make changes to its Street View application. Officials at Google responded by saying, "Go ahead. We know were you live."

Mary Hart's Wax Replica Unveiled

Madame Tussauds Hollywood has immortalized Entertainment Tonight's Mary Hart in wax. Artists said Hart was easy to replicate, as she could leave her face at the museum for hours at a time.

Pigs Learn to Use Mirrors

Researchers have found that pigs can learn how mirrors work and even use them to scope out their surroundings, like trying to figure out whose bed they're in and why they're wearing lipstick.

Space Elevator Concept Wins NASA Contest

A Seattle-area company has won $900,000 in a NASA contest to build a miniature prototype of its space elevator, which could climb from Earth to outer space. This would be a more direct route than the company's original concept, a stairway to heaven.

Truck Carrying Flu Vaccine Is Stolen

A refrigerated truck hauling 930 doses of the swine flu vaccine was stolen in Milwaukee this week. In related news, a truck filled with sausages was turned away from a local medical clinic, after the driver offered to give patients injections.

Passenger Accidentally Activates Ejector Seat

A civilian passenger in a South African air show accidentally activated the plane's ejector seat, shooting into the sky, only to later float back down to Earth in a parachute that opened automatically. The event was sponsored by Freshpair undergarments.

China Approves Disney Theme Park

The Walt Disney Company has won approval to build a Disneyland in Shanghai, where Chinese history will be incorporated into rides like "Space Mao-tain." All products sold at the Disney Store will be made on site.

Corner Markets to Push Fresh Produce

In an effort to be health-conscious, some corner grocery stores in Newark are offering more produce, whole wheat bread, and other nutritious foods. Shoppers can find these items next to the dusty mayonnaise jars and the $7 cans of string beans.

French Court Convicts Church of Scientology of Fraud

A Paris court has fined the Church of Scientology more than euro600,000 for pressuring members into paying large sums of money for questionable financial gain. Scientologists are asking people not to judge the entire religion based on the actions of a few bad thetans.

MySpace C.E.O. Reveals Plans to Improve Site

Owen Van Natta, MySpace chief executive, said at the Web 2.0 conference that he plans to stem the decline of members by cleaning up the site’s interface and eliminating marginal features. Van Natta attempted to show the new site at the conference, but couldn't get it to download in time.

People Seeking "Rebirth" Sent to Hospital

A total of 21 people in Arizona were sent to the hospital following a “vision quest” where they were told vomiting “was good for you, that you are purging what your body doesn’t want.” Participants were then featured on the cover of Vogue.

Corporations Reduce Waste Across U.S.

Across the nation, an antigarbage strategy known as “zero waste” is taking hold in corporations. Honda is recycling so diligently that some factories have gotten rid of their trash Dumpsters altogether. Meanwhile GM is reducing waste by closing nine more U.S. plants.

Researchers Create Memories in Fruitfly’s Brain

To better understand how the brain works, biologists at the University of Oxford shined light into a fruitfly’s brain, making it think it had a terrible experience. Scientists then stuck the fly's hand in warm water and giggled.

Barnes & Noble Introduces Electronic Reader

Barnes & Noble unveiled its version of an electronic reader called the Nook. The device will cost $259 and permit readers to lend their digital books to friends, and allow friends to digitally forget where they put the books or how long they've had them.

Soap Use Lacking in England

A campaign in Britain is encouraging people to use soap in public restrooms after a recent study found that only 65 percent of women and 31 percent of men regularly use soap when washing their hands. In related news, greeting people with a bow has become increasingly popular in England.

Transplant Patient Accepts "The Force" & New Kidney

Jazz saxophonist David S. Ware has successfully undergone a kidney transplant after refusing to do so for months for fear of having “someone else’s life force” in him. Ware is thankful for his new kidney, as well as his new found ability to play the spoons while tap dancing.

Weight-Loss Drugs Hope to Evade Side Effects

Three pharmaceutical companies are hoping to succeed in the battle for anti-obesity drugs that avoid side-effects like flatulence and loss of bowel control. The companies claim their products work more "harmoniously" with the digestive system, and include a cork in each bottle.

Even Rabbit Droppings Count in Nuclear Cleanup

A government contractor at the Hanford nuclear reservation in south-central Washington State has mapped out locations of radioactive rabbit feces from a helicopter, so workers can properly dispose of it. One worker tasked with the clean-up effort was apparently overheard saying, "I really should have gone to college."

Global Climate Deal Needs Funding

World leaders struggling to hash out a new global climate deal by December are finding that an even bigger hurdle than getting countries to reduce greenhouse gas emissions is figuring out how to pay for it. When the cost of the deal was presented, Canada slowly reached for its wallet, while the U.S. looked directly at China and said, "I promise I'll pay you back, man."

Walmart.com's Book Prices Could Damage Industry

Wal-Mart shaved another cent off its already rock-bottom prices for hardcover books, potentially damaging the industry. On Friday a spokeswoman for Wal-Mart said that the company would "continue to adjust our pricing so that Walmart.com offers the lowest prices on these top pre-sellers in books," adding, "in the hopes that our customers will finally learn to read."

Company Turns Digital Pics into Photo Albums

Pixable, a new company based in New York, allows users to create photo books from their pictures on the Web. After selecting images from Flickr, Picasa, and Facebook, an album is assembled and shipped to the user's house, where it can collect dust alongside photo albums from junior high school.

Boy in Balloon Found Alive

The 6-year-old boy who was believed to be in a home-made balloon over Denver has been found in a box in the attic of his family's Fort Collins home. His parents are grateful he's alive and well, and are now going to kill him.

Finding a Guide for Online Networking

Marc Prensky, author of “Digital Game-Based Learning,” advises older persons new to online job hunting to find young mentors to help them through the process, otherwise known as the newest excuse heard on "To Catch a Predator."

Connecticut to Scrutinize Food Labels

Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal is investigating a campaign that promotes products like Froot Loops and mayonnaise as nutritionally-smart choices. Blumenthal said the campaign is “overly simplistic, inaccurate and ultimately misleading,” to which Kellogg’s, General Mills, and PepsiCo responded, "...and your point is?"

Hybrid Cars Could Include Fake Noise for Safety

Safety experts are worried that the quiet motors of electric cars are a threat to pedestrians who can’t hear them, and would like automakers to supply the cars with a digitally-enhanced "vroom" noise — or for cars in urban areas, the digitally-enhanced sound of subwoofers blasting "Low" by Flo Rida.

Device Simulates Virginity

Conservatives in Egypt are furious over a new device that promises to simulate the bleeding a virgin bride experiences on her wedding night. Meanwhile, fans of "Sex and the City" and "Gossip Girl" are eagerly awaiting the device that simulates being a whore.

White House Begins Celebration of Music

A Latin music concert featuring the likes of Gloria Estefan and Marc Anthony, was held Tuesday night on the South Lawn as part of the White House Music Series. Vice President Joe Biden hailed the performance as another reason to maintain good relations with Mexico.

Justices Seem Sympathetic to Defendant

Several Supreme Court justices on Tuesday appeared sympathetic to a criminal defendant who said he plead guilty to a drug crime based on his lawyer’s advice. He said the same lawyer advised him to cheat on his wife, not file his 2008 taxes, and invest in Crystal Pepsi.

New Bridge in Main Experiments with Building Materials

A new brige in Maine has been constructed using 23 graceful arches of carbon- and glass-fiber fabric, filled with concrete. Designers at the Universtiy of Main say the bridge is an experiment in design, and hope it works better than the straw and chewing gum bridge they attempted last month.

Asprin May Have Boosted 1918 Flu Death Total

Experts are saying some of deaths during the 1918 flu epidemic may have been caused by overdoses of asprin, a new new “wonder drug” at the time. Coincidentally, the pharmaceutical industry released a report today urging people to "take it easy with the Valtrex."

Debate Follows Bills to Remove Clotheslines Bans

Opponents of line-drying clothing are saying new laws lifting bans on the practice are bringing down their property values. In the last year, lawmakers in Colorado, Hawaii, Maine and Vermont have overridden local rules with legislation protecting the right to hang laundry outdoors. Residents who enjoy line-drying are hoping lawmakers will also soon lift the ban on front-lawn vehicle storage.

Barack Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize

In a stunning surprise, the Nobel Committee announced Friday that it had awarded its annual peace prize to President Obama "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples," otherwise known as "doing his job."

French Film Focuses on Overcrowded Prisons

The French movie “Un Prophète” (“A Prophet”), about France's deplorable prison conditions, has prompted France's parliament to institute the first bill since World War II that could lead to reforms. This move is being referred to in French political circles as the “Prophet effect,” much like "Basic Instinct 2" was referred to as the "Who thought this was a good idea?" effect.

YouTube Offers Parental Guidance

According to Nielsen VideoCensus, more children under 13 watched videos in August on YouTube than on Disney.com, Nick.com, and Cartoon Network combined. For parents, the idea of turning their children loose with such a vast amount of content can be frightening. However, YouTube does have a customization feature that allow parents to filter content, once their children show them how to use it.

Gov. Corzine Ad Plays on Challenger's Weight

A television ad for Gov. Jon S. Corzine shows his hefty challenger, Christopher J. Christie, stepping out of an S.U.V. in extreme slow motion, while the narrator says that Mr. Christie "threw his weight around" to avoid getting traffic tickets. In a phone call to Corzine, Christie admitted he did throw his weight around, adding "on your mother."

Leafy Greens Top List of Riskiest Foods

Leafy greens, like lettuce and spinach, are among the 10 riskiest foods, according to a study from The Center for Science in the Public Interest. Other foods on the list include scrambled eggs with arsenic, rat poison soup, and anything from Jack in the Box.

Mexico Creates Task Force to Protect Tourists

Officials from the Baja California cities of Tijuana, Ensenada, and Rosarito announced the creation of a task force to patrol a tourist corridor along those areas in an effort to better serve Americans. Other efforts to better serve Americans include doubling food portions at local taco stands and putting a Starbucks in every barrio.

Homeless Find Hope in Producing TV

A former TV and radio reporter is using cable television as an outreach to the homeless, by providing hands-on training in TV production for the St. Paul Neighborhood Network. The new recruits have even contributed to programming, which includes shows like, "Why Do You Need The Holy Ghost," "Bridging Heaven and Earth," and "How to Live Off a Pack of Skittles and an 8-Ball for a Week."

Africa Embraces Cell Phones

Africa has become the fastest-growing mobile phone market worldwide, and entrepreneurs and development organizations are eagerly seizing the opportunity presented by such growth, creating mobile phone applications for profitable and nonprofit ventures across the continent. Millions of Africans, for example, now use their mobile phones to transfer money, turn on water wells, and wish their loved ones goodbye before a genocide.

Dairy Farmers Strike Back

After months of complaints by European dairy farmers angry over low milk prices, protesters on Monday poured milk onto the streets and started fires that filled the air with black smoke. This is nothing, however, compared to the deadly haggis riots of '97.

Bake Sales Banned

In an effort to limit how much sugar and fat students consume at school, the New York Education Department has effectively banned most bake sales, a lucrative fund-raising tool used by teams and clubs. But students have already rebounded with new and innovative ways to raise money, such as selling plasma, dog fighting, and getting freshman hooked on smack.

Newspaper Seeks Weed Critic

Westword, an alternative weekly newspaper in Denver, is seeking a medical marijuana critic. Last week, the paper published a call for a freelance reviewer with a real, doctor-certified medical need, and received several dozen applications - most of them illegible and from the same person. While the paper acknowledges that Woody Harrelson has a lot of experience with marijuana, his prescriptions from "Dr. Dre" are questionable.

China Developing New TV Networks

China plans to spend billions of dollars in the next few years to develop media and entertainment companies to compete with the News Corporation and Time Warner. Officials say the new networks would feature shows such as "How I Met Your Mother: Through an Arranged Marriage," "The Real Housewives of Guangzhou," and China's version of "The Office" — "The Sweatshop."

Man Arrested Taping Erin Andrews

Michael David Barrett has been arrested and accused of secretly taping ESPN sports reporter Erin Andrews in the nude and posting the videos on the Internet. Barrett apparently checked into the same hotel at the same time as Andrews and asked for a room adjacent to her's, rigging her room's peephole to take videos. Barrett, however, ignored sports announcer John Madden, who was changing clothes in an adjacent room, with the door open.

No Climate and Energy Bill This Fall

President Obama’s top climate and energy official, Carol M. Browner, said Friday that there was virtually no chance Congress would have a climate and energy bill ready for him to sign before negotiations on a global climate treaty begin in December in Copenhagen. Browner, however, said the public can rest assured that the polar ice caps have been notified that they are to cease from melting until talks resume next year.

Center for Science in Washington Files Suit Against Bayer

The Center for Science in Washington has filed a lawsuit against Bayer Healthcare charging that the company’s labels and commercials falsely claimed its One A Day multivitamins for men may reduce the risk of prostate cancer. The group's next targets include Red Bull energy drink, which has no substantial evidence that it actually gives people "wings," and Calvin Klein Jeans, whose slogan, "Nothing comes between me and my Calvins," has repeatedly been proven false by former spokesmodel — and mother of two — Brook Shields.

iPhone Users Say They'd Switch Providers

The Apple iPhone has boosted AT&T's subscriber numbers, but complaints of network problems could hurt the company's reputation. AT&T, however, has not admitted to any problems and, according to AT&T spokesman Mark Siegel, offers users "the nation's fastest 3G network, now in 350 major metropol—"

China Marks 60th Anniversary

China’s leaders marked their nation’s 60th anniversary on Thursday with a precision display of military bravado. A confident President Hu Jintao said he "cannot be prouder of the development and progress of our great motherland," noting "Tiananmen Square was sooo 1989."

The People’s Armed Police had specially outfitted armored personnel carriers, a signal of their growing stature. While their performance in Tibet was widely criticized, President Hu praised their performance in the parade, saying it was comparable to that of Janet Jackson's 1990 Rhythm Nation video.

FDA Warns Againts Products with Steroids

The Food and Drug Administration has warned consumers not to use products marketed for bodybuilding that contain steroids or steroid-like substances, as several companies have been accused of illegally selling products that contain steroids. However, legal use of steroids and growth hormones is still permitted in meat and dairy products, which are enjoyed by 6-foot-tall 12 year olds everywhere.

Smart Shoes Reduce Foot Pain

Researchers have found that smart shoe choices pay off in the long term. A study of 1,000 women revealed that women who had mainly worn comfortable, supportive footwear instead of high heels, cut their risk of foot pain in half, while also greatly reducing their chances of finding a husband.

Facbook to Offer Translation Tool

On Thursday Facebook will make a translation tool available that allows visitors to log in using their Facebook ID and password and broadcast information in other languages. For example, "LOL" will be translated to say, "The American you're emailing is a complete moron."

School Disctrict Makes Lunches from Scratch

More than 80 percent of the nation’s school districts cook fewer than half their entrees from scratch, according to a survey by the School Nutrition Association. A public school in Queens is one of the few to take pride in its cooking, using only the best ingredients to make canned corn, sloppy joes, and chicken-flavored patties.

160 New Species Discovered

Over 160 new species were discovered last year in the Greater Mekong region of southeast Asia, according to a report by the World Wildlife Fund. The discovery of 100 new plants, 28 fish, 18 reptiles, 14 amphibians, two mammals and one bird species highlights the extent of the biodiversity in the region, which will be demolished next week to make way for the new Greater Mekong Walmart.

Radio Stolen from Car in Sink Hole

Vandals in Atlanta stole a radio from a car that was trapped in a sinkhole on Saturday. The thieves, however, ignored the driver's CD collection, which included DJ Jazzy Jeff's Greatest Hits and various Ace of Base B-Sides.

Palin Memoir Won't Name Names

Sarah Palin's much-anticipated memoir now has a title and a new release date. Palin's book will be called "Going Rogue: An American Life," and will reference criticism directed at her during the final days of last year's presidential race. While Palin said she is not going to name names, she said some of her biggest offenders rhyme with "shmady shmurik" and "shmeena shmay."

Tent Communities Spring Up

Dire economic conditions are causing make-shift tent communities to multiply across the U.S. People living in such communities are complaining about the lack of clean water, inadequate waste facilities, and the constant blaring of Phish music.

Woman Robs Six Banks

Police in Connecticut say they have arrested a woman suspected of robbing at least six banks in the past week. According to recent FBI figures, women commit 6.2 percent of bank robberies, up from 4.9 percent in 2002 - just another example of women picking up the slack during tough economic times.

Woman Caned for Drinking Beer in Malaysia

A judge in Malaysia has upheld a court verdict to cane a Muslim woman for drinking beer, news reports said Monday. In the mean time, Miller Brewing Company is pulling its ad campaign that reads, "Through a straw, under a burka - it's always Miller Time."

Researcher Documents Daily Life

Microsoft researcher Gordon Bell is taking the idea of digital memory to an extreme. The 75 year old carries around video equipment, cameras and audio recorders to document every moment of his life. The endeavor is all part of Microsoft’s SenseCam, a device that would hang around a person's neck and automatically capture thousands of daily activities. So far, Bell has 988 hours of Matlock recorded and photos of over 3,200 Denny’s receipts.

Minding Reading Scientifically Plausible

Scientists are one step closer to knowing what you've seen by reading your mind. Having modeled how images are represented in the brain, the researchers translated recorded patterns of neural activity into pictures of what test subjects had seen. The research could someday lead to dream-readers, thought-controlled computers, and terrified boyfriends.

Vick Returns to the Field

Thirty-three months after he last played in a regular season NFL game, Michael Vick returned to the field yesterday. Vick attempted his first pass, a lob to Leonard Weaver, which was overthrown. Disappointed team members later penalized Vick by holding his head under water.

Clinton Global Initiative Honors Pitt

The Clinton Global Initiative has honored Brad Pitt for helping to rebuild hurricane-ravaged New Orleans. So far, Pitt’s “Make It Right” project has completed 13 eco-friendly single-family houses in the city’s Ninth Ward. “That’s great! Thanks, Hollywood,” say the other 999,987 Hurricane Katrina victims who still remain displaced four years later.

Polanski Arrested on Sex Charge

Oscar-winning filmmaker Roman Polanski has been arrested in Switzerland on a decades-old warrant stemming from a sex charge with a 13-year-old girl. Polanski has continuously defended himself over the years, arguing that the girl looked at least 16.

Aggressive Health Care Campaign Begins

White House officials say they have begun an aggressive campaign to line up votes for a health care bill. While email blasts will carry convincing statistics, it’s the door-to-door death panels that are most likely to sway members of congress.

Coffee Vendor Charged as Terror Suspect

A Wall Street coffee vendor has been charged as a terror suspect. Suspicions were aroused about Najibullah Zazi when he was heard saying, “Thank you, come again - hopefully before Thursday.”

Countries Profit Off of Exported Waste

Exporting waste to reduce the costs of environmental clean up has become a vast business. If disposed of in the U.S., waste is taxed or must be disposed of in an environmentally responsible way, whereas when exported to Indonesia, India, or China, it can be dismantled and resold to Americans as children's toys.

Strip Club Offers Gourmet Lunches for Seniors

A strip club in Florida is offering free gourmet lunches to senior citizens. However, while seniors can look at the food all they want, they are not allowed to touch it.

Students Not Phased by H1N1

Despite the pervasive prevention messages around campuses, many students say they're not too concerned about catching the H1N1 virus, as they already have much worse viruses to explain to their girlfriends.

Embryo Mix-Up Discovered

An Ohio woman was given a wrong embryo in an IVF mix-up. The woman said she first noticed something was wrong after spotting a tail during the ultrasound.

CNN: Rain Floods Atlanta

CNN reported today that relentless rain is to blame for Atlanta's recent flooding. Residents were shocked by the news, as they thought it was a drought that had caused the catastrophic water damage to their homes.

TSA Confiscates 13 Million Prohibited Items

Between 2005 and 2006, the TSA confiscated 13 million prohibited items, leaving the department with a surplus of shampoo bottles over 2 oz., and an abundance of clean, silky hair.

'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs' is Box Office Hit

The animated movie "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," which includes a giant tub of Jell-O, flying hot dogs, and a monkey, brought in $30.1 million at the box-office this week, proving to kids everywhere that doing drugs really does pay.

Damon Got Doughy for Informant

Matt Damon says he had to get 'doughy' for film “The Informant.” Tom Arnold says he’s disappointed that Damon was chosen, as he’s been preparing for the role for years.

Strange Lights Seen in Northeast

NASA said strange lights seen in the Northeast on Saturday were caused by an experimental rocket, while the little men walking around the area were due to lax border controls.

Kid Shatters Guitar Hero Record

A 12-year-old boy scored 1,019,000 in the video game Guitar Hero, shattering world records. “I’ve never expected to break the world record for something that was like, kind of important.” He said, adding, “And I hope to do that some day.”

Guinness World Records 2010 Released

The Guinness World Records 2010 edition was released today with categories that include Longest Ear Hair, Biggest Rubber Band Ball, and People Who Really Need a Hobby.

Girlfriend Dating Cardboard Cutout

Anne Schollard, of Jacksonville, is dealing with her boyfriend being overseas by taking a cardboard cutout of him everywhere she goes. Schollard says her paper-mate reminds her of Staff Sgt. Patrick Thomas in that he looks great, but lacks depth.

West Apologizes to Swift

Kanye West called Taylor Swift with a "very sincere" apology Tuesday for interrupting her acceptance speech at Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards, Swift said. Swift then interruped West's apology with a very sincere, "F#@k you!"

H1N1 Vaccine Approved

The Food and Drug Administration has approved applications from manufacturers to make the H1N1 flu vaccine, the secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services said Tuesday. She assured the public that the departmnet, "will have enough vaccine available for everyone," later adding, "who owes me money."

Allergies Interfere with Sexual Activity

According to a new study, 83 percent of people with allergies reported that their condition prevented sexual activity. Researchers reported that their allergies were generally triggered when their spouses said something stupid.

Gender Testing Ordered for South African Runner Caster Semenya

Authorities have required South African runner Caster Semenya to get gender testing done after she blew away the competition at last month’s IAAF World Track & Field Championships in Berlin. While Semenya's running time raised initial speculations, it was her constant references to Sports Center that finally prompted the testing.

Obama Adds Tariffs to Chinese Tires

President Obama has added tariffs to some Chinese tires…mainly the one with holes in them.

Homeless Women Inspired by Blog

A blog has helped a homeless woman turn her life around. Tara Reid credits Perez Hilton for the inspiration and plans to stop doing drugs completely, after this next hit.

Jobless Rate Up for 30-Somethings

The jobless rate for people between 30 and 34 has nearly doubled in the past 12 months. Coincidentally, video game sales are skyrocketing.

Joe Wilson Shouts at Obama

Representative Joe Wilson recently shouted at President Obama during his speech on healthcare reform. Sources say Wilson though it was the request portion of the presentation, and simply wanted to hear “Freebird.”

Chris Brown Lashes Out at Oprah Winfrey

Chris Brown is lashing out at Oprah Winfrey for remarks she made about his assault on Rihanna. He invited her into his silver Lamborghini to settle matters once and for all.