Legislators in Wisconsin are proposing legislation to ban prank calls, possibly due to one recently received by Gov. Scott Walker. Opponents of the bill include I.P. Freely (D-NY) and Seymour Butz (D-CA).
New Jersey Rep. Rush Holt allegedly beat the IBM supercomputer Watson at Jeopardy. Analysts are questioning his claim, arguing, how much of a genius can he be if he still lives in Jersey?
A study by Dutch scientists found that people with full bladders showed better judgment when making quick decisions. Fans of R. Kelly disagree.
Charlie Sheen agreed to yet another interview, this time with TMZ. The celebrity news site even reportedly tried to feed the actor lines, like, "Shhh...."
During an outside taping of the Today Show this morning, a man lunged at the hosts, yelling, "I'm God's gift to music." This confused the show's staff, as Kanye isn't scheduled to appear until next week.
The NYPD frisked a record 600,000 New Yorkers last year, arresting only 7 percent of them, while asking the other 93 percent to dinner.
Prince William and Kate Middleton plan to treat their guests to the U.K. wedding staple, fruitcake. In response, their guests plan to treat themselves to the American food staple, McDonald's.
Rush Limbaugh scoffed at Michelle Obama for promoting healthy eating, yet snacking on ribs. The First Lady reminded Limbaugh that unlike him, she takes certain measures to ensure healthy eating, like chewing and coming up for air.
A mother in Tampa put her teenage son on a street corner wearing a sign that read "GPA 1.22...Honk if I need an education." Thankfully, he had no idea what it said.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Cyber romance, Romney hearts Bieber, and the shirtless congressmen in today's Plunder
In a recent survey of 1,000 Americans, half of respondents knew someone who started a relationship online, and half of those couples got to meet without Chris Hansen showing up.
Rep. Chris Lee, a married congressman, has resigned after being caught e-mailing a shirtless picture of himself to a woman he met on Craigslist. Lee apologized, saying, "That's not an accurate representation of who I am. I wasn't even flexing."
Congressman Chris Murphy said he's no longer a fan of Justin Bieber, after Bieber told Rolling Stone magazine that he's pro-life. However, this rationale might explain Mitt Romney's "I Heart Bieber" lunchbox.
Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammys inside a cocoon, carried by shirtless gogo dancers, and wearing pointy prosthetics on her shoulders and forehead. While some called the display outrageous, Gaga called it, "Sunday."
New research shows that the total computing power of every general-purpose computer on earth equals that of one human brain, which defies any explanation for why Jersey Shore is in its second season.
A South Carolina lawmaker wants to put prisoners caught using Facebook in solitary confinement. Critics argue that having no contact with real people for long periods of time is no reason to punish someone.
Today in court Lindsay Lohan defended herself against charges of grand theft for stealing a $2,500 necklace, arguing, "but it really brings out the color in my ankle monitor."
A collection of 35,000 vintage toys is going on sale at Sotheby's auction house in New York. They include WWI-era wooden soldiers, decade-old toy trains, and Dick Cheney's first BB AK-47.
Mark Zuckerberg has taken out a restraining order against an alleged stalker who's been sending him threatening messages through Facebook. Apparently Zuckerberg's even having trouble with Facebook's new Privacy settings.
Florida has banned some scented bath salts containing synthetic drugs, after people who used them experienced temporary delirium. That might explain why Charlie Sheen smelled like "Vanilla Breeze" during his arrest.
Rep. Chris Lee, a married congressman, has resigned after being caught e-mailing a shirtless picture of himself to a woman he met on Craigslist. Lee apologized, saying, "That's not an accurate representation of who I am. I wasn't even flexing."
Congressman Chris Murphy said he's no longer a fan of Justin Bieber, after Bieber told Rolling Stone magazine that he's pro-life. However, this rationale might explain Mitt Romney's "I Heart Bieber" lunchbox.
Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammys inside a cocoon, carried by shirtless gogo dancers, and wearing pointy prosthetics on her shoulders and forehead. While some called the display outrageous, Gaga called it, "Sunday."
New research shows that the total computing power of every general-purpose computer on earth equals that of one human brain, which defies any explanation for why Jersey Shore is in its second season.
A South Carolina lawmaker wants to put prisoners caught using Facebook in solitary confinement. Critics argue that having no contact with real people for long periods of time is no reason to punish someone.
Today in court Lindsay Lohan defended herself against charges of grand theft for stealing a $2,500 necklace, arguing, "but it really brings out the color in my ankle monitor."
A collection of 35,000 vintage toys is going on sale at Sotheby's auction house in New York. They include WWI-era wooden soldiers, decade-old toy trains, and Dick Cheney's first BB AK-47.
Mark Zuckerberg has taken out a restraining order against an alleged stalker who's been sending him threatening messages through Facebook. Apparently Zuckerberg's even having trouble with Facebook's new Privacy settings.
Florida has banned some scented bath salts containing synthetic drugs, after people who used them experienced temporary delirium. That might explain why Charlie Sheen smelled like "Vanilla Breeze" during his arrest.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sniffing sheet rock, crafty computers, and "WTF?!" in today's Plunder
Archaeologists have found 1,082 ancient stone tombs using Google Earth, and unfortunately, Waldo.
Two New York drug crews participated in a completely counterfeit drug deal, trading crushed up sheet rock - thought to be cocaine - for $16,000 in fake bills. Officials plan to start making arrests, as soon as they stop laughing.
This month Jeopardy will air the competition between its champions and an IMB computer named Watson. Experts have been called in to help determine which is which.
Sarah and Bristol Palin have filed applications with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to trademark their names. Unfortunately, New Line Cinema already owns that patent for the movie "Dumb and Dumber."
According to a survey by the United Kingdom's Business Travel and Meetings Show, children on flights are the biggest pet peeve of business class passengers. Second on the list: crashing.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission plans to find out why more hasn't been done about table saw injuries, which cause about 10 finger amputations a day. However, they're taking their time, as they don't want to point fingers.
The TSA is testing new software that will transmit more blurred images of travelers' bodies. They call the device, Beer Goggles 2.0.
Sarah Palin referred to President Obama's State of the Union catch phrase "Winning the Future" as "WTF" several times on Fox News last night. Palin is familiar with the term, often uttering statements like, "WTF is a newspaper?" and "WTF is Russia doing in my backyard?"
New photos of Jesse James show him driving a car with a friend who's wearing a Nazi hat and doing a Hitler salute. James claims to just really love history, because that's where his career is.
Jesse James said the media was all wrong about 2010 being a bad year for him, as it freed him up to finally marry someone who shares his love for himself.
A new study says letting your pet sleep with you can lead to the bubonic plague, heart disorders, and in some states, true love.
Taco Bell has pulled its advertising from the controversial MTV series Skins, saying the show is done in poor taste, adding, "Oh, wait. That's our food."
Former Vice President Dick Cheney is going hunting soon and is ready for the onslaught of jokes about his past hunting mishap. He intends to leave for his next trip just as soon as someone returns his calls.
Dick Cheney is telling the media that Barack Obama will be a one-term president and the healthcare system will fail, mostly because Cheney will use it all up before Obama's second term.
Two New York drug crews participated in a completely counterfeit drug deal, trading crushed up sheet rock - thought to be cocaine - for $16,000 in fake bills. Officials plan to start making arrests, as soon as they stop laughing.
This month Jeopardy will air the competition between its champions and an IMB computer named Watson. Experts have been called in to help determine which is which.
Sarah and Bristol Palin have filed applications with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to trademark their names. Unfortunately, New Line Cinema already owns that patent for the movie "Dumb and Dumber."
According to a survey by the United Kingdom's Business Travel and Meetings Show, children on flights are the biggest pet peeve of business class passengers. Second on the list: crashing.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission plans to find out why more hasn't been done about table saw injuries, which cause about 10 finger amputations a day. However, they're taking their time, as they don't want to point fingers.
The TSA is testing new software that will transmit more blurred images of travelers' bodies. They call the device, Beer Goggles 2.0.
Sarah Palin referred to President Obama's State of the Union catch phrase "Winning the Future" as "WTF" several times on Fox News last night. Palin is familiar with the term, often uttering statements like, "WTF is a newspaper?" and "WTF is Russia doing in my backyard?"
New photos of Jesse James show him driving a car with a friend who's wearing a Nazi hat and doing a Hitler salute. James claims to just really love history, because that's where his career is.
Jesse James said the media was all wrong about 2010 being a bad year for him, as it freed him up to finally marry someone who shares his love for himself.
A new study says letting your pet sleep with you can lead to the bubonic plague, heart disorders, and in some states, true love.
Taco Bell has pulled its advertising from the controversial MTV series Skins, saying the show is done in poor taste, adding, "Oh, wait. That's our food."
Former Vice President Dick Cheney is going hunting soon and is ready for the onslaught of jokes about his past hunting mishap. He intends to leave for his next trip just as soon as someone returns his calls.
Dick Cheney is telling the media that Barack Obama will be a one-term president and the healthcare system will fail, mostly because Cheney will use it all up before Obama's second term.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Romantic rifles, blurry private parts, and Mel's new movie in today's Plunder
Jeopardy's greatest champions are going to compete against a talking IBM super-computer named Watson. In an effort to prepare for the match, the contestants have been playing trivia with Al Gore.
A South Carolina gun company is selling a rifle component inscribed with "you lie" in tribute to Rep. Joe Wilson's outburst at President Obama. While some call the move tasteless, Todd Palin calls it the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
In an effort to cut costs, Myspace has slashed 47% of its employees. The remaining employees will discuss the future of the company later this week, in Tom’s livingroom.
A Kentucky man has created clothing that blurs out a person's private parts during full-body scans at airports. The Jets are wondering if the same technology can be used for text messages.
Starbucks is removing its name from its logo, the first of many decisions made by its newest consultant, Prince.
A pilot's spilled coffee triggered a hijacking alert on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Germany. Thankfully he didn't spill the beer in his other hand.
According to The New Scientist, a Border Collie named Chaser has learned over 1,022 words, making him the smartest animal to still lick its own ass.
The Navy fired the commander of the USS Enterprise for using gay slurs in a sexually explicit video he created to boost morale. Mel Gibson has since bought the rights to the video.
Glenn Close is said to be distraught about appearing in one of the raunchy videos made by the former captain of the USS Enterprise. "I feel your pain," said the entire cast of All About Steve.
A South Carolina gun company is selling a rifle component inscribed with "you lie" in tribute to Rep. Joe Wilson's outburst at President Obama. While some call the move tasteless, Todd Palin calls it the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
In an effort to cut costs, Myspace has slashed 47% of its employees. The remaining employees will discuss the future of the company later this week, in Tom’s livingroom.
A Kentucky man has created clothing that blurs out a person's private parts during full-body scans at airports. The Jets are wondering if the same technology can be used for text messages.
Starbucks is removing its name from its logo, the first of many decisions made by its newest consultant, Prince.
A pilot's spilled coffee triggered a hijacking alert on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Germany. Thankfully he didn't spill the beer in his other hand.
According to The New Scientist, a Border Collie named Chaser has learned over 1,022 words, making him the smartest animal to still lick its own ass.
The Navy fired the commander of the USS Enterprise for using gay slurs in a sexually explicit video he created to boost morale. Mel Gibson has since bought the rights to the video.
Glenn Close is said to be distraught about appearing in one of the raunchy videos made by the former captain of the USS Enterprise. "I feel your pain," said the entire cast of All About Steve.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Kate complains, Fox discredits science, and Amsterdam may lose its buzz in today's Plunder
Kate Gosselin reportedly complained during her entire camping trip with Sarah Palin, filmed for the TV show "Sarah Palin's Alaska." Palin, however, said she enjoyed Gosselin's company, as it gave her plenty of target practice.
Sarah Palin says she's in "prayerful consideration" about running for president in 2012. Palin admits, however, that it's hard to close her eyes and read her hand at the same time.
A new report on wasteful government spending points to $11 million worth of items, such as Grateful Dead merchandise, poetry, and video games – and that was just Joe Biden's office.
A recent court ruling may lead to banning sales of marijuana to tourists in Amsterdam. Visitors are outraged, arguing that now they'll have no way to explain their trips to the red light district.
BP is claiming that U.S. government estimates exaggerated the size of the Gulf oil spill, just like they continue to exaggerate the need for wildlife.
The federal "Do Not Board" list failed multiple times this year to stop travelers with infectious diseases from flying. Thankfully, the thought of a pat-down did.
Sarah Palin says she's in "prayerful consideration" about running for president in 2012. Palin admits, however, that it's hard to close her eyes and read her hand at the same time.
A new report on wasteful government spending points to $11 million worth of items, such as Grateful Dead merchandise, poetry, and video games – and that was just Joe Biden's office.
A recent court ruling may lead to banning sales of marijuana to tourists in Amsterdam. Visitors are outraged, arguing that now they'll have no way to explain their trips to the red light district.
BP is claiming that U.S. government estimates exaggerated the size of the Gulf oil spill, just like they continue to exaggerate the need for wildlife.
The federal "Do Not Board" list failed multiple times this year to stop travelers with infectious diseases from flying. Thankfully, the thought of a pat-down did.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Pat-downs, sexy genes, and killer drugs in today's Plunder
Healthcare providers are pledging to stop the overuse of radiation on patients during medical exams. Luckily, the TSA is picking up where they left off.
The TSA says there'll be no more physical searches beyond the enhanced pat-downs put in place. Mainly, because there's no where left to go.
A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested for masturbating in the toy aisle of a Walmart. To his defense, have you seen the new Happy Birthday Barbie?
New research shows there is a gene associated with women who have lots of casual, uncommitted sex. While researches have labeled the gene DRD4, men are calling it "awesome."
Some states where the death penalty is legal are experiencing a shortage of one of the drugs used for lethal injections, and asking Texas for some of theirs. Texas is like, "You really think we have any left over?"
A New York City high school teacher was suspended for saying the word "coño" in his class, which can be interpreted as profanity. Sadly, it was the only time the students actually paid attention.
The TSA says there'll be no more physical searches beyond the enhanced pat-downs put in place. Mainly, because there's no where left to go.
A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested for masturbating in the toy aisle of a Walmart. To his defense, have you seen the new Happy Birthday Barbie?
New research shows there is a gene associated with women who have lots of casual, uncommitted sex. While researches have labeled the gene DRD4, men are calling it "awesome."
Some states where the death penalty is legal are experiencing a shortage of one of the drugs used for lethal injections, and asking Texas for some of theirs. Texas is like, "You really think we have any left over?"
A New York City high school teacher was suspended for saying the word "coño" in his class, which can be interpreted as profanity. Sadly, it was the only time the students actually paid attention.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Black Friday butt-ins, offline celebrities, and urine in today's Plunder
Somali-born U.S. citizen Mohamed Osman Mohamud was arrested after he attempted to blow up a fake car bomb sold to him by undercover FBI agents. A disappointed Mohamud later told reporters, "You can't trust anyone these days."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
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