Jeopardy's greatest champions are going to compete against a talking IBM super-computer named Watson. In an effort to prepare for the match, the contestants have been playing trivia with Al Gore.
A South Carolina gun company is selling a rifle component inscribed with "you lie" in tribute to Rep. Joe Wilson's outburst at President Obama. While some call the move tasteless, Todd Palin calls it the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
In an effort to cut costs, Myspace has slashed 47% of its employees. The remaining employees will discuss the future of the company later this week, in Tom’s livingroom.
A Kentucky man has created clothing that blurs out a person's private parts during full-body scans at airports. The Jets are wondering if the same technology can be used for text messages.
Starbucks is removing its name from its logo, the first of many decisions made by its newest consultant, Prince.
A pilot's spilled coffee triggered a hijacking alert on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Germany. Thankfully he didn't spill the beer in his other hand.
According to The New Scientist, a Border Collie named Chaser has learned over 1,022 words, making him the smartest animal to still lick its own ass.
The Navy fired the commander of the USS Enterprise for using gay slurs in a sexually explicit video he created to boost morale. Mel Gibson has since bought the rights to the video.
Glenn Close is said to be distraught about appearing in one of the raunchy videos made by the former captain of the USS Enterprise. "I feel your pain," said the entire cast of All About Steve.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Kate complains, Fox discredits science, and Amsterdam may lose its buzz in today's Plunder
Kate Gosselin reportedly complained during her entire camping trip with Sarah Palin, filmed for the TV show "Sarah Palin's Alaska." Palin, however, said she enjoyed Gosselin's company, as it gave her plenty of target practice.
Sarah Palin says she's in "prayerful consideration" about running for president in 2012. Palin admits, however, that it's hard to close her eyes and read her hand at the same time.
A new report on wasteful government spending points to $11 million worth of items, such as Grateful Dead merchandise, poetry, and video games – and that was just Joe Biden's office.
A recent court ruling may lead to banning sales of marijuana to tourists in Amsterdam. Visitors are outraged, arguing that now they'll have no way to explain their trips to the red light district.
BP is claiming that U.S. government estimates exaggerated the size of the Gulf oil spill, just like they continue to exaggerate the need for wildlife.
The federal "Do Not Board" list failed multiple times this year to stop travelers with infectious diseases from flying. Thankfully, the thought of a pat-down did.
Sarah Palin says she's in "prayerful consideration" about running for president in 2012. Palin admits, however, that it's hard to close her eyes and read her hand at the same time.
A new report on wasteful government spending points to $11 million worth of items, such as Grateful Dead merchandise, poetry, and video games – and that was just Joe Biden's office.
A recent court ruling may lead to banning sales of marijuana to tourists in Amsterdam. Visitors are outraged, arguing that now they'll have no way to explain their trips to the red light district.
BP is claiming that U.S. government estimates exaggerated the size of the Gulf oil spill, just like they continue to exaggerate the need for wildlife.
The federal "Do Not Board" list failed multiple times this year to stop travelers with infectious diseases from flying. Thankfully, the thought of a pat-down did.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Pat-downs, sexy genes, and killer drugs in today's Plunder
Healthcare providers are pledging to stop the overuse of radiation on patients during medical exams. Luckily, the TSA is picking up where they left off.
The TSA says there'll be no more physical searches beyond the enhanced pat-downs put in place. Mainly, because there's no where left to go.
A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested for masturbating in the toy aisle of a Walmart. To his defense, have you seen the new Happy Birthday Barbie?
New research shows there is a gene associated with women who have lots of casual, uncommitted sex. While researches have labeled the gene DRD4, men are calling it "awesome."
Some states where the death penalty is legal are experiencing a shortage of one of the drugs used for lethal injections, and asking Texas for some of theirs. Texas is like, "You really think we have any left over?"
A New York City high school teacher was suspended for saying the word "coño" in his class, which can be interpreted as profanity. Sadly, it was the only time the students actually paid attention.
The TSA says there'll be no more physical searches beyond the enhanced pat-downs put in place. Mainly, because there's no where left to go.
A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested for masturbating in the toy aisle of a Walmart. To his defense, have you seen the new Happy Birthday Barbie?
New research shows there is a gene associated with women who have lots of casual, uncommitted sex. While researches have labeled the gene DRD4, men are calling it "awesome."
Some states where the death penalty is legal are experiencing a shortage of one of the drugs used for lethal injections, and asking Texas for some of theirs. Texas is like, "You really think we have any left over?"
A New York City high school teacher was suspended for saying the word "coño" in his class, which can be interpreted as profanity. Sadly, it was the only time the students actually paid attention.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Black Friday butt-ins, offline celebrities, and urine in today's Plunder
Somali-born U.S. citizen Mohamed Osman Mohamud was arrested after he attempted to blow up a fake car bomb sold to him by undercover FBI agents. A disappointed Mohamud later told reporters, "You can't trust anyone these days."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
New York authorities are considering using dogs to sniff out bed bugs. Unfortunately the animals get distracted by the city's other smells, mainly urine and urine.
The website "Birth or Not; Help us decide, a real abortion vote,"is letting people decide whether a pregnant Minnesota couple should have an abortion. Unfortunately, there's no site that allows people to decide whether the couple should live.
Former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater, who shouted at passengers before sliding out an emergency exit, is giving advice on how to behave like a civilized traveler. However, Slater is still seeking advice on how to behave like a civilized flight attendant.
According to the CDC, Gonorrhea has fallen to its lowest level ever recorded, syphilis cases are holding steady, and Bieber Fever is spreading like wildfire.
Barbara Bush told CNN's Larry King she hopes Sarah Palin stays in Alaska, making this the first bi-partisan issue everyone can agree on.
According to a study by a Dutch university, the radiation necessary for Wi-Fi may be killing trees. Thankfully, humans are resistant to it.
Glace Rare Iceberg Water plans to unveil its $10 bottled water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. The new beverage is said to taste like greenhouse gasses and dying penguins.
The U.S. Travel Association has launched a website that encourages people to share their opinions about the TSA's intrusive body scans and pat-downs. The most vocal group: TSA Employees. "Have you seen the shape most Americans are in?"
The Pope recently said that the only exception he'd allow for the use of condoms is for male prostitutes, because, "Joke's on them - they can't get pregnant anyway!"
MySpace and Facebook unveiled a service called Mashup that lets users share a feed of their entertainment content between both social networks, before logging back onto Facebook.
Newsweek posted an op-ed piece by Tiger Woods titled, "How I've Redefined Victory." However, they deleted the second part, "By Cheating on my Wife and Keeping my Nike Contract."
The FDA wants Four Loko to reformulate its caffeinated, alcoholic beverages, citing the potential to harm people who drink them. The rest of the world calls that Darwinism.
The Vatican unveiled a $6 million dollar device that allows the pope's Masses to be broadcast in high-definition. The Vatican's next hi-tech move: 3-D communion.
Researchers at the University of Texas-Austin have found that some women's low sex drives improved with the use of a placebo. Men have since been buying the placebos in bulk.
A growing number of people in Mexico have started bulletproofing their vehicles as a necessity, making it even harder for Pintos to reach 55.
President Obama's new picture book for kids pays tribute to 13 Americans whose traits he sees in his own children. He also has a new picture book for Vice President Joe Biden, titled "Shhh."
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Flipping the bird, diseased lungs, and SPAM in today's Plunder
A 34-year-old British man has been arrested for giving "the finger" to an airport worker in Dubai. In a related story, a 34-year-old British man was high-fived after giving the finger to an airport worker at LaGuardia.
New research shows that teens who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to have had sex or use drugs, while adults who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to get bad press for the Minnesota Vikings.
The federal government announced plans for cigarette packages to include graphic images, including corpses, diseased lungs, and photos of Keith Richards.
The U.S. Coast Guard and the U.S. Navy brought Spam and croissants to passengers stranded on the disabled Carnival Splendor cruise ship. Thankfully, it was all you can eat.
Queen Elizabeth II has her own Facebook page, with over 57,000 followers. Her next step toward joining the 21st Century is learning how to work the remote control.
Lindsay Lohan's mother told Matt Lauer that Lindsay eventually wants to start her own rehabilitation facilities. To ensure they're of the highest standards, Lindsay plans to test them out herself.
As many as 16 people fainted after previewing the movie 127 Hours, in which James Franco stars as a hiker who amputates his own arm. This is not to be confused with the hundreds of people fell asleep during Sex and the City 2.
Eight middle school students in Los Angeles were taken to the hospital after eating a drug-laced chocolate bar bought at a skate shop. Teachers have since tested more of the bars to be sure they're the source of the problem.
Some New Yorkers may have to run their water a while before drinking it after recent tests showed elevated levels of lead. However, Staten Island residents can continue to chew their water as usual.
According to a recent Zagat Survey, 63% of people say it's rude to talk on cellphones at restaurants, unless they're the ones doing it.
Slurpee wants to take Barack Obama at his word and hold a post-election Slurpee Summit. This will be followed by a Brain Freeze Summit hosted by Vice President Biden.
George W. Bush told Matt Lauer that the "all-time low" of his presidency was when Kanye West said "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Bush denied the remarks, saying he cared about every person in New Orleans who he flew over.
George W. Bush writes in his new memoir that Vice President Dick Cheney offered to leave in 2004, and that accepting the offer would have shown that Bush was in charge. However, Bush ultimately decided to let Cheney stay in charge.
Alcohol is more dangerous than illegal drugs, like heroin and crack, according to a new study by British experts. That makes England one of the most dangerous countries in the world.
New research shows that teens who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to have had sex or use drugs, while adults who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to get bad press for the Minnesota Vikings.
The federal government announced plans for cigarette packages to include graphic images, including corpses, diseased lungs, and photos of Keith Richards.
The U.S. Coast Guard and the U.S. Navy brought Spam and croissants to passengers stranded on the disabled Carnival Splendor cruise ship. Thankfully, it was all you can eat.
Queen Elizabeth II has her own Facebook page, with over 57,000 followers. Her next step toward joining the 21st Century is learning how to work the remote control.
Lindsay Lohan's mother told Matt Lauer that Lindsay eventually wants to start her own rehabilitation facilities. To ensure they're of the highest standards, Lindsay plans to test them out herself.
As many as 16 people fainted after previewing the movie 127 Hours, in which James Franco stars as a hiker who amputates his own arm. This is not to be confused with the hundreds of people fell asleep during Sex and the City 2.
Eight middle school students in Los Angeles were taken to the hospital after eating a drug-laced chocolate bar bought at a skate shop. Teachers have since tested more of the bars to be sure they're the source of the problem.
Some New Yorkers may have to run their water a while before drinking it after recent tests showed elevated levels of lead. However, Staten Island residents can continue to chew their water as usual.
According to a recent Zagat Survey, 63% of people say it's rude to talk on cellphones at restaurants, unless they're the ones doing it.
Slurpee wants to take Barack Obama at his word and hold a post-election Slurpee Summit. This will be followed by a Brain Freeze Summit hosted by Vice President Biden.
George W. Bush told Matt Lauer that the "all-time low" of his presidency was when Kanye West said "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Bush denied the remarks, saying he cared about every person in New Orleans who he flew over.
George W. Bush writes in his new memoir that Vice President Dick Cheney offered to leave in 2004, and that accepting the offer would have shown that Bush was in charge. However, Bush ultimately decided to let Cheney stay in charge.
Alcohol is more dangerous than illegal drugs, like heroin and crack, according to a new study by British experts. That makes England one of the most dangerous countries in the world.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Taking it in the air, a mouthful of roaches, and PMS in today's Plunder
Some McDonald's employees in Ohio received fliers in their paychecks suggesting they vote for Republican candidates. McDonald's headquarters quickly condemned the action, saying those employees weren't supposed to say anything.
A former California Highway Patrol officer has been sentenced to two years in prison for dismissing a speeding ticket in exchange for sex. Authorities are still wondering why the driver continued to speed down the road days after.
A new study finds that soot from space tourism rockets could spur climate change in the coming decade, meaning people will have to stick to vacations that pollute the environment the old fashioned way.
Hormone levels at certain phases of the menstrual cycle affect women's emotional responses, according to a new study. Women are still trying to figure out why someone felt the need to study this.
Sarah Palin made a comment on Entertainment Tonight saying she may run for the Republican presidential nomination if no one else is good enough. Democrats are crossing their fingers that all other potential Republican nominees get hit by a truck.
The Transportation Security Administration is changing the way it pats down passengers, moving from the traditional hand pat to more of a hand-sliding motion. Agents will then continue the motion, based on the passenger's reaction.
Law enforcement officials are increasing attaching specially-made cameras to TASER guns. Now instead of telling criminals to freeze the cops say, "Smile!"
A former county coordinator in Kentucky who stomped on an activist's head wants an apology from the victim, who immediately told him she was sorry for placing her head under his foot again and again and again.
California congressional candidate Van Tran has sent out scratch-and-sniff mailers that smell like fecal matter and insult his competitor, saying "Something smells rotten about Loretta [Sanchez] – it's the stench of Washington." However, most people who received one thought it was just a postcard from their relatives in Jersey.
The British Information Commissioner's Office on Monday asked to take a closer look at the evidence Google acquired with its Street View Internet eavesdropping gear. Google was like, "Yeah, we heard you talking about that like a week ago."
A never-before detected strain of virus that killed more than one-third of a monkey colony at a U.S. lab appears to have spread to a human scientist. The scientist insists he and the monkeys were just friends.
JetBlue and Southwest have launched ads aimed at competitors' bag-checking fees, saying, "If you wouldn't take it on the ground, don't take it in the air." The Mile High Club is opposing the campaign.
Sean Murphy, a pet store employee, will attempt to set a Guinness World Record for holding 12 cockroaches in his mouth. His next feat: the KFC Double Down.
The French Senate approved a bill raising the retirement age to 62 from 60. Citizens rioted in the streets, fearing this might eventually lead to a 40-hour work week.
Shannon Doherty is promoting her book "Badass: A Hard-Earned Guide to Living Life with Style and (the Right) Attitude." However, critics say Doherty might be confusing the term "badass" with "bitch."
A former California Highway Patrol officer has been sentenced to two years in prison for dismissing a speeding ticket in exchange for sex. Authorities are still wondering why the driver continued to speed down the road days after.
A new study finds that soot from space tourism rockets could spur climate change in the coming decade, meaning people will have to stick to vacations that pollute the environment the old fashioned way.
Hormone levels at certain phases of the menstrual cycle affect women's emotional responses, according to a new study. Women are still trying to figure out why someone felt the need to study this.
Sarah Palin made a comment on Entertainment Tonight saying she may run for the Republican presidential nomination if no one else is good enough. Democrats are crossing their fingers that all other potential Republican nominees get hit by a truck.
The Transportation Security Administration is changing the way it pats down passengers, moving from the traditional hand pat to more of a hand-sliding motion. Agents will then continue the motion, based on the passenger's reaction.
Law enforcement officials are increasing attaching specially-made cameras to TASER guns. Now instead of telling criminals to freeze the cops say, "Smile!"
A former county coordinator in Kentucky who stomped on an activist's head wants an apology from the victim, who immediately told him she was sorry for placing her head under his foot again and again and again.
California congressional candidate Van Tran has sent out scratch-and-sniff mailers that smell like fecal matter and insult his competitor, saying "Something smells rotten about Loretta [Sanchez] – it's the stench of Washington." However, most people who received one thought it was just a postcard from their relatives in Jersey.
The British Information Commissioner's Office on Monday asked to take a closer look at the evidence Google acquired with its Street View Internet eavesdropping gear. Google was like, "Yeah, we heard you talking about that like a week ago."
A never-before detected strain of virus that killed more than one-third of a monkey colony at a U.S. lab appears to have spread to a human scientist. The scientist insists he and the monkeys were just friends.
JetBlue and Southwest have launched ads aimed at competitors' bag-checking fees, saying, "If you wouldn't take it on the ground, don't take it in the air." The Mile High Club is opposing the campaign.
Sean Murphy, a pet store employee, will attempt to set a Guinness World Record for holding 12 cockroaches in his mouth. His next feat: the KFC Double Down.
The French Senate approved a bill raising the retirement age to 62 from 60. Citizens rioted in the streets, fearing this might eventually lead to a 40-hour work week.
Shannon Doherty is promoting her book "Badass: A Hard-Earned Guide to Living Life with Style and (the Right) Attitude." However, critics say Doherty might be confusing the term "badass" with "bitch."
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Windmills, cult couples, and record enchiladas in today's Plunder
The Obama administration is taking credit for jobs created on dozens of wind farms that were actually built during the Bush administration. Meanwhile, the Bush administration is still taking credit for annihilating Iraq to get back at Osama bin Laden.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, diabetes cases are projected to double or triple by 2050 – and so is McDonald's new quadruple pounder!
Ford Motor plans to equip its trucks with the first ever back-seat safety belts with built-in air bags. Meanwhile, Toyota's latest safety initiative involves telling passengers to cross their fingers.
Rev. Sun Myung Moon, a self-proclaimed messiah, offered blessings to 7,200 couples who exchanged marriage vows in a mass wedding. Unfortunately most of those couples will divorce when they realize their partners are in a cult.
Residents of Iztapalapa, Mexico have set the record for the world's biggest enchilada, weighing in at 1-ton. They then set the record for world's biggest release of methane gas.
Over 134 tons of marijuana was burned during Mexico's largest seizure of the drug. Onlookers cheered, and then headed to Iztapalapa to eat the world's biggest enchilada.
A Yale University fraternity has been accused of directing pledges to chant obscenities against women. A spokesperson for the fraternity assured people that once pledges become members, they're only told to say such chants on the inside.
A new brown-skinned muppet in a pretty pink dress has been created to help African American girls accept themselves just the way they are, much like Grover has given self esteem to millions of Avatars.
James Cameron unveiled a new opening scene for an extended cut of Avatar for DVD, which features life in future earth, where it's crowded, polluted, and full of advertising. The new cut also reaveals that Cameron needs to get out more.
Justice Clarence Thomas' wife asked Anita Hill for an apology in the hopes of "extending an olive branch" about Hill's sexual harassment allegations against her husband. Hill said the only thing she'd like to extend to Mrs. Thomas is her fist.
The Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, has declared that Homer Simpson is Catholic. The paper also declared that Mr. Burns is Protestant and named Duff beer the official beverage of the Catholic Church.
A recent study from the University of Notre Dame shows that people who work for "green" companies are happier, which explains why employees in marijuana dispensaries are always smiling.
The Jet Blue flight attendant who told off passengers and grabbed beer before leaving the plane has agreed to counseling and substance-abuse treatment, as long as both facilities have inflatable slides.
According to new research, nearly 17% of U.S. medical costs can be blamed on obesity. The other 83% can be blamed on Dick Cheney.
Justin Bieber was sent away from a laser tag game after allegedly striking a 12-year-old boy who called him gay. While Bieber is not gay, witnesses said he does hit like a girl.
Former President Bill Clinton made an appearance at a rally for California gubernatorial nominee Jerry Brown, where the former rivals hugged. Thankfully Clinton stopped short of getting out the cigar.
Thousands of Germans have asked Google to delete their properties from its Street View mapping service. However, thousands more have asked for an even closer view of David Hasselhoff's house.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, diabetes cases are projected to double or triple by 2050 – and so is McDonald's new quadruple pounder!
Ford Motor plans to equip its trucks with the first ever back-seat safety belts with built-in air bags. Meanwhile, Toyota's latest safety initiative involves telling passengers to cross their fingers.
Rev. Sun Myung Moon, a self-proclaimed messiah, offered blessings to 7,200 couples who exchanged marriage vows in a mass wedding. Unfortunately most of those couples will divorce when they realize their partners are in a cult.
Residents of Iztapalapa, Mexico have set the record for the world's biggest enchilada, weighing in at 1-ton. They then set the record for world's biggest release of methane gas.
Over 134 tons of marijuana was burned during Mexico's largest seizure of the drug. Onlookers cheered, and then headed to Iztapalapa to eat the world's biggest enchilada.
A Yale University fraternity has been accused of directing pledges to chant obscenities against women. A spokesperson for the fraternity assured people that once pledges become members, they're only told to say such chants on the inside.
A new brown-skinned muppet in a pretty pink dress has been created to help African American girls accept themselves just the way they are, much like Grover has given self esteem to millions of Avatars.
James Cameron unveiled a new opening scene for an extended cut of Avatar for DVD, which features life in future earth, where it's crowded, polluted, and full of advertising. The new cut also reaveals that Cameron needs to get out more.
Justice Clarence Thomas' wife asked Anita Hill for an apology in the hopes of "extending an olive branch" about Hill's sexual harassment allegations against her husband. Hill said the only thing she'd like to extend to Mrs. Thomas is her fist.
The Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, has declared that Homer Simpson is Catholic. The paper also declared that Mr. Burns is Protestant and named Duff beer the official beverage of the Catholic Church.
A recent study from the University of Notre Dame shows that people who work for "green" companies are happier, which explains why employees in marijuana dispensaries are always smiling.
The Jet Blue flight attendant who told off passengers and grabbed beer before leaving the plane has agreed to counseling and substance-abuse treatment, as long as both facilities have inflatable slides.
According to new research, nearly 17% of U.S. medical costs can be blamed on obesity. The other 83% can be blamed on Dick Cheney.
Justin Bieber was sent away from a laser tag game after allegedly striking a 12-year-old boy who called him gay. While Bieber is not gay, witnesses said he does hit like a girl.
Former President Bill Clinton made an appearance at a rally for California gubernatorial nominee Jerry Brown, where the former rivals hugged. Thankfully Clinton stopped short of getting out the cigar.
Thousands of Germans have asked Google to delete their properties from its Street View mapping service. However, thousands more have asked for an even closer view of David Hasselhoff's house.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Bombs, bears and Disney discrimination in Today's Plunder
The California Senate is preparing to vote on the nation's first statewide ban on plastic bags. Terrified residents are wondering what they'll use to carry their marijuana in.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has inaugurated the country's first domestically-built unmanned bomber aircraft, nicknamed the "ambassador of death." The new killing-machine uses Iran's best technology, as well as two double-A batteries and a remote control.
A 60-mile traffic jam on one of China's major national freeways is now entering its 9th day, according to the Chinese media. Upon hearing the news, people in LA were like, "That's it?"
A Muslim woman claims Disney has suspended her without pay for turning down the company's alternatives to her religious headscarf. However, Disney executives argue that mouse ears look good on anyone.
The TSA has started performing "enhanced patdowns" that use a "more aggressive palms-first, slide-down body" technique. While not everyone will receive the patdowns, people can request them for an additional $5.
A British Airways flight accidentally played a message telling passengers they were about to crash. The airline said it will not charge frightened passengers to have their seats reupholstered.
U.S. Customs officials at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport confiscated a tombstone with more than 50 pounds of marijuana inside. However, there were only had 40 lbs in it when it was turned over to authorities.
Due to a scarce food supply, Yellowstone's grizzlies are going to be particularly hungry this fall. Due to America's obesity epidemic, not for long.
Philadelphia police have busted a prostitution ring that operated in airport hotels. Hotel managers argued it was just an improvement to room service.
Hundreds of couples dressed as sailors and nurses and kissed in Times Square to re-enact the life magazine photo taken at the end of WW2. New Yorkers passing by said it reminded them of the good old days before Giuliani.
New research out of Taiwan suggests that menstrual cramps may alter women's brains. The research also showed that a man's penis may affect his ability to make rational decisions.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has inaugurated the country's first domestically-built unmanned bomber aircraft, nicknamed the "ambassador of death." The new killing-machine uses Iran's best technology, as well as two double-A batteries and a remote control.
A 60-mile traffic jam on one of China's major national freeways is now entering its 9th day, according to the Chinese media. Upon hearing the news, people in LA were like, "That's it?"
A Muslim woman claims Disney has suspended her without pay for turning down the company's alternatives to her religious headscarf. However, Disney executives argue that mouse ears look good on anyone.
The TSA has started performing "enhanced patdowns" that use a "more aggressive palms-first, slide-down body" technique. While not everyone will receive the patdowns, people can request them for an additional $5.
A British Airways flight accidentally played a message telling passengers they were about to crash. The airline said it will not charge frightened passengers to have their seats reupholstered.
U.S. Customs officials at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport confiscated a tombstone with more than 50 pounds of marijuana inside. However, there were only had 40 lbs in it when it was turned over to authorities.
Due to a scarce food supply, Yellowstone's grizzlies are going to be particularly hungry this fall. Due to America's obesity epidemic, not for long.
Philadelphia police have busted a prostitution ring that operated in airport hotels. Hotel managers argued it was just an improvement to room service.
Hundreds of couples dressed as sailors and nurses and kissed in Times Square to re-enact the life magazine photo taken at the end of WW2. New Yorkers passing by said it reminded them of the good old days before Giuliani.
New research out of Taiwan suggests that menstrual cramps may alter women's brains. The research also showed that a man's penis may affect his ability to make rational decisions.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A sample of DP's best zingers!
Chris Brown broke down while singing Man in the Mirror during the Michael Jackson tribute. Friends say he was upset because producers wouldn't let him sing the song he really wanted: Beat It.
Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90-days in jail for violating probation today, reportedly causing her younger sister to weep. I guess she was concerned about who would buy her beer for the next three months.
The suit O.J. Simpson wore on the day he was acquitted has been delivered to the Newseum in Washington, D.C. It took a while to get the suit there because the delivery truck had to be chased for four hours.
Several summer music festivals this year are showcasing artists covering entire albums of other musicians' works. P. Diddy was like, "What's the big deal? I've been doing this for years."
Nightmare on Elm Street is back and reported to be scarier than ever. Instead of wearing a sweater and a metal glove, Krueger is dressed as a Citigroup CEO and drives a Toyota.
John Lennon's handwritten lyrics to the final song on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band were purchased during an auction for $1.2 million. The next highest bid that night went to the original lyrics for "Pants on the Ground."
Larry King is ending his show after 25 years. He says he plans to spend more time with his family. He's just trying to decide which one.
Eye doctors are warning Lady Gaga fans that the contact lenses she wears can be harmful to their eyes. The same thing could be said about her wardrobe.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81% of its members have used evidence from social networking sites. In related news, 81% of married couples haven't figured out how to update their Facebook privacy settings.
According to British researchers, children whose mothers lived near mobile phone towers while pregnant didn't appear to have a higher risk of cancer. Neither did the children's second heads.
Delta airlines mixed up the flights of two unrelated children traveling on separate itineraries. Amazingly, their luggage arrived at the correct destinations.
Dogs in China are reportedly being dyed to look like pandas and tigers. Animal rights activists are protesting the fad, but the Chinese argue that when dining, presentation is everything.
This month marks the 35th anniversary of the movie Jaws, which has given a bad rap to great white sharks ever since, just like Glitter did for Mariah Carey. (Except people actually saw Jaws.)
Corrupt prison employees have reportedly been smuggling thousands of cell phones to inmates. Officials knew something was up when prisons began to echo with "Can you hear me now?"
A New York couple was married this week in an Atlantis Marine World shark tank. The bride was like, "You think this is scary? You should have seen the pre-nup."
A female guest at a Nebraska Hampton Inn reportedly found a snake slithering in her toilet bowl. The woman has reserved the same room for the next two weeks.
The Smithsonian Institution is creating a line of jewelry for QVC based on its collection. Pieces include the Hope Diamond, Marie Antoinette's earrings, and Larry King's first wedding ring.
AirTran has launched "Harry Potter 1," a Boeing 717 that features Harry Potter's wand on its side. Later this year AirTran plans to launch even longer plane: the "Ron Jeremy 1."
Michael Vick said Monday that he cried after the shooting that followed his birthday party, because he let people down by putting himself in the situation. His friends were like, "Don't worry about it, man, you let us down way before that."
The NFL is urging players to wear more knee, thigh and hip protection on the field this season. The NBA, however, is urging players to use more protection off the court.
According to a recent survey, four out of five poker players admit to using legal and illicit drugs to improve their game, allowing poker to finally be classified as a sport.
A study released today shows 97 out of 100 scientists believe that people's actions have led to climate change. In a related study, three out of 100 scientists own SUVs.
Chinese scientists have discovered that a chemical found in cigarette butts may slow down the corrosion of steel. They're hoping it does the same for iron lungs.
Astronomers says a huge ball of burning gas in a neighboring galaxy may be the heaviest star ever discovered. They're watching old episodes of The View to be sure.
England's Medical Research Council says computer brain games don't necessary increase brain power. They do, however, increase your chances of living in your parents' basement well past 30.
A new study reports that too much TV and video games doubles the risk of children having attention problems. The study also shows that those children will be great at killing flesh-eating zombies.
Scientists are saying Botox may inhibit emotions by repressing facial expressions. Thankfully, people who get Botox don't really have emotions anyway.
Researchers in Chicago say that people with noticeable accents are considered less credible than those with no accent. Researchers still don't know how credible Madonna is.
BP CEO Tony Hayward took a break from overseeing the PB disaster to watch his yacht "Bob" participate in a race. Onlookers could easily identify Hayward's yacht as the one leaking oil.
The largest Russia-U.S. spy swap since the Cold War took place Thursday. The swap went so well, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev asked President Obama if he'd be interested in a wife-swap.
Schools across Mexico are teaching students to dive to the floor and cover their heads in case of a violent outbreak. The same methods were used by Mel Gibson's kids.
Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90-days in jail for violating probation today, reportedly causing her younger sister to weep. I guess she was concerned about who would buy her beer for the next three months.
The suit O.J. Simpson wore on the day he was acquitted has been delivered to the Newseum in Washington, D.C. It took a while to get the suit there because the delivery truck had to be chased for four hours.
Several summer music festivals this year are showcasing artists covering entire albums of other musicians' works. P. Diddy was like, "What's the big deal? I've been doing this for years."
Nightmare on Elm Street is back and reported to be scarier than ever. Instead of wearing a sweater and a metal glove, Krueger is dressed as a Citigroup CEO and drives a Toyota.
John Lennon's handwritten lyrics to the final song on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band were purchased during an auction for $1.2 million. The next highest bid that night went to the original lyrics for "Pants on the Ground."
Larry King is ending his show after 25 years. He says he plans to spend more time with his family. He's just trying to decide which one.
Eye doctors are warning Lady Gaga fans that the contact lenses she wears can be harmful to their eyes. The same thing could be said about her wardrobe.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81% of its members have used evidence from social networking sites. In related news, 81% of married couples haven't figured out how to update their Facebook privacy settings.
According to British researchers, children whose mothers lived near mobile phone towers while pregnant didn't appear to have a higher risk of cancer. Neither did the children's second heads.
Delta airlines mixed up the flights of two unrelated children traveling on separate itineraries. Amazingly, their luggage arrived at the correct destinations.
Dogs in China are reportedly being dyed to look like pandas and tigers. Animal rights activists are protesting the fad, but the Chinese argue that when dining, presentation is everything.
This month marks the 35th anniversary of the movie Jaws, which has given a bad rap to great white sharks ever since, just like Glitter did for Mariah Carey. (Except people actually saw Jaws.)
Corrupt prison employees have reportedly been smuggling thousands of cell phones to inmates. Officials knew something was up when prisons began to echo with "Can you hear me now?"
A New York couple was married this week in an Atlantis Marine World shark tank. The bride was like, "You think this is scary? You should have seen the pre-nup."
A female guest at a Nebraska Hampton Inn reportedly found a snake slithering in her toilet bowl. The woman has reserved the same room for the next two weeks.
The Smithsonian Institution is creating a line of jewelry for QVC based on its collection. Pieces include the Hope Diamond, Marie Antoinette's earrings, and Larry King's first wedding ring.
AirTran has launched "Harry Potter 1," a Boeing 717 that features Harry Potter's wand on its side. Later this year AirTran plans to launch even longer plane: the "Ron Jeremy 1."
Michael Vick said Monday that he cried after the shooting that followed his birthday party, because he let people down by putting himself in the situation. His friends were like, "Don't worry about it, man, you let us down way before that."
The NFL is urging players to wear more knee, thigh and hip protection on the field this season. The NBA, however, is urging players to use more protection off the court.
According to a recent survey, four out of five poker players admit to using legal and illicit drugs to improve their game, allowing poker to finally be classified as a sport.
A study released today shows 97 out of 100 scientists believe that people's actions have led to climate change. In a related study, three out of 100 scientists own SUVs.
Chinese scientists have discovered that a chemical found in cigarette butts may slow down the corrosion of steel. They're hoping it does the same for iron lungs.
Astronomers says a huge ball of burning gas in a neighboring galaxy may be the heaviest star ever discovered. They're watching old episodes of The View to be sure.
England's Medical Research Council says computer brain games don't necessary increase brain power. They do, however, increase your chances of living in your parents' basement well past 30.
A new study reports that too much TV and video games doubles the risk of children having attention problems. The study also shows that those children will be great at killing flesh-eating zombies.
Scientists are saying Botox may inhibit emotions by repressing facial expressions. Thankfully, people who get Botox don't really have emotions anyway.
Researchers in Chicago say that people with noticeable accents are considered less credible than those with no accent. Researchers still don't know how credible Madonna is.
BP CEO Tony Hayward took a break from overseeing the PB disaster to watch his yacht "Bob" participate in a race. Onlookers could easily identify Hayward's yacht as the one leaking oil.
The largest Russia-U.S. spy swap since the Cold War took place Thursday. The swap went so well, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev asked President Obama if he'd be interested in a wife-swap.
Schools across Mexico are teaching students to dive to the floor and cover their heads in case of a violent outbreak. The same methods were used by Mel Gibson's kids.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Broken ankles, broken hearts, and nude broken records in today's Plunder
Brett Favre said only the health of his ankle will determine whether he plays for the Vikings this season. The Packers have contacted Tonya Harding to help him with his decision.
According to the American Journal of Epidemiology, women who spend six hours a day sitting increase their risk of dying by 37%, whereas men who spend six hours a day sitting truly enjoy ESPN.
Yesterday a JetBlue flight attendant cursed out passengers and grabbed a beer before sliding down the plane's emergency exit. The company has since seen a surge in applications for flight attendants.
Levi Johnston, ex-fiance to Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, is going to run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and have it all taped for a reality show. Upon hearing the news, Palin began scouting the town for grassy knolls.
Warren Buffett says he and Bill Gates have pledges from 40 of America's wealthiest individuals to give away half of their fortunes to charity, in exchange for getting their loved ones back.
Newly-released statistics show that Mexico has modest murder rates compared to a decade ago. Just like Keith Richards had a modest drug problem.
According to a University of Michigan study, Russians are less likely than Americans to be depressed, which explains that constant grin on Vladimir Putin's face.
Having a sister protects young teens "from feeling lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious and fearful," according to a study in the Journal of Family Psychology. Unless you're Ali Lohan.
A recent study shows that contaminated pet food can sicken people, as well as animals. Researchers determined this after finding out that Fancy Feast tastes as good as it looks.
Hampton, Virginia's City Council has decided to save paper by purchasing iPads for its
members. Apparently saving money wasn't on the agenda this year.
A judge awarded $500,000 to a Staten Island man who said he can't date because of a jaw injury suffered in a ferry crash, and not because of the fact he's from Staten Island.
More than 100 British people set a record for riding a roller coaster nude to benefit a local breast cancer charity. The event also set a record for most Purell used by subsequent riders on a roller coaster.
Spain's Catalonia has become the country's first mainland region to outlaw the sport of bullfighting. Michal Vick called their decision barbaric.
According to the American Journal of Epidemiology, women who spend six hours a day sitting increase their risk of dying by 37%, whereas men who spend six hours a day sitting truly enjoy ESPN.
Yesterday a JetBlue flight attendant cursed out passengers and grabbed a beer before sliding down the plane's emergency exit. The company has since seen a surge in applications for flight attendants.
Levi Johnston, ex-fiance to Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, is going to run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and have it all taped for a reality show. Upon hearing the news, Palin began scouting the town for grassy knolls.
Warren Buffett says he and Bill Gates have pledges from 40 of America's wealthiest individuals to give away half of their fortunes to charity, in exchange for getting their loved ones back.
Newly-released statistics show that Mexico has modest murder rates compared to a decade ago. Just like Keith Richards had a modest drug problem.
According to a University of Michigan study, Russians are less likely than Americans to be depressed, which explains that constant grin on Vladimir Putin's face.
Having a sister protects young teens "from feeling lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious and fearful," according to a study in the Journal of Family Psychology. Unless you're Ali Lohan.
A recent study shows that contaminated pet food can sicken people, as well as animals. Researchers determined this after finding out that Fancy Feast tastes as good as it looks.
Hampton, Virginia's City Council has decided to save paper by purchasing iPads for its
members. Apparently saving money wasn't on the agenda this year.
A judge awarded $500,000 to a Staten Island man who said he can't date because of a jaw injury suffered in a ferry crash, and not because of the fact he's from Staten Island.
More than 100 British people set a record for riding a roller coaster nude to benefit a local breast cancer charity. The event also set a record for most Purell used by subsequent riders on a roller coaster.
Spain's Catalonia has become the country's first mainland region to outlaw the sport of bullfighting. Michal Vick called their decision barbaric.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Dying pets, eating oil, and bathroom births
British newspapers are reporting stories about dogs in China being dyed to look like pandas and tigers. Animal rights activists are protesting the fad, but the Chinese argue that when dining, presentation is everything.
Several summer music festivals are showcasing artists covering entire albums of other musicians' works. P. Diddy was like, "What's the big deal? I've been doing this for years."
President Obama said he would have fired British Petroleum's CEO Tony Hayward for downplaying the Gulf oil spill, to which Hayward replied, "That's it? What about the other stuff - lying about the amount of oil in the gulf, not having a back up plan, constantly impersonating Mr. Bean?"
According to experts, oil that washes up on shores isn't that dangerous and swallowing oil-tainted water does not require a trip to the emergency room. The oil-coated animals were like, "Yeah, thanks for the advice. Enjoy your shower."
According to a new study, four out of five poker players use legal and illicit drugs to improve their game, allowing poker to finally be classified as a sport.
A woman unexpectedly gave birth in the toilet of her cabin on a Carnival cruise ship last month. Not to worry - her daughter Latrina is doing just fine.
Spirit Airlines pledged to keep flying passengers even if its pilots decide to strike on Saturday. In a related story, Spirit is offering discounts to people who know how to fly planes.
A New York couple was married this week in an Atlantis Marine World shark tank. The bride was like, "You think this is scary? You should have seen the pre-nup."
Sandra Bullock made a surprise appearance at Spike TV's "Guys Choice" event in Culver City. Jessee James could not be seen at the event, mostly because he was cowering under his seat.
Experts are warning that frequent cocaine use can lead to rotting flesh. People in LA breathed a sigh of relief when they learned that the flesh has to be real.
A Southern California mother whose two children were reported missing 15 years ago tracked them down using Facebook. Upon learning she was their mom, they kids unfriended her immediately.
Several summer music festivals are showcasing artists covering entire albums of other musicians' works. P. Diddy was like, "What's the big deal? I've been doing this for years."
President Obama said he would have fired British Petroleum's CEO Tony Hayward for downplaying the Gulf oil spill, to which Hayward replied, "That's it? What about the other stuff - lying about the amount of oil in the gulf, not having a back up plan, constantly impersonating Mr. Bean?"
According to experts, oil that washes up on shores isn't that dangerous and swallowing oil-tainted water does not require a trip to the emergency room. The oil-coated animals were like, "Yeah, thanks for the advice. Enjoy your shower."
According to a new study, four out of five poker players use legal and illicit drugs to improve their game, allowing poker to finally be classified as a sport.
A woman unexpectedly gave birth in the toilet of her cabin on a Carnival cruise ship last month. Not to worry - her daughter Latrina is doing just fine.
Spirit Airlines pledged to keep flying passengers even if its pilots decide to strike on Saturday. In a related story, Spirit is offering discounts to people who know how to fly planes.
A New York couple was married this week in an Atlantis Marine World shark tank. The bride was like, "You think this is scary? You should have seen the pre-nup."
Sandra Bullock made a surprise appearance at Spike TV's "Guys Choice" event in Culver City. Jessee James could not be seen at the event, mostly because he was cowering under his seat.
Experts are warning that frequent cocaine use can lead to rotting flesh. People in LA breathed a sigh of relief when they learned that the flesh has to be real.
A Southern California mother whose two children were reported missing 15 years ago tracked them down using Facebook. Upon learning she was their mom, they kids unfriended her immediately.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Nightmares on Elm Street, Hugo Chavez on Twitter & Stephen Hawking on Aliens
Freddy Krueger is back for Nightmare on Elm Street No. 9. But this version is predicted to be scarrier than those before. Instead of wearing his tattered sweater and using his metal glove as a weapon, Krueger is dressed as a Citigroup CEO and drives a Toyota.
David Kernell, the son of a Democratic Tennessee lawmaker has been convicted of two charges in the hacking of Sarah Palin's e-mail account. The account, however, held no messages, as they were all written on Palin's hand.
Maryline Blackburn, who beat Palin for the Miss Alaska title in 1984, announced that she will be running for a seat in the House of Representatives. Blackburn's qualifications include her desire for world peace and her ability to see China from her backyard.
Hugo Chavez has started Twittering about how happy he is to work for Venezuela, noting, "We will be victorious!!" Iran's president Aash-e Shalghamhas has followed suit on Twitter, telling followers, "Just tried a new Aash-e Shalgham soup and am off to torture infidels."
The suit O.J. Simpson wore on the day he was acquitted of murder has been delivered to the Newseum in Washington, D.C., where it will be part of a display focusing on his trial. Newseum officials say it was tough getting the suit to its new location, as the vehicle carrying it had to be chased for nearly four hours.
British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking is cautioning humans to "think very carefully" about whether we want to broadcast our existence to a potentially hostile universe. Hawking said an alien species might burn through its resources and search for new areas to exploit, adding, "oh wait...that's us."
Researchers have found that common bad habits including smoking, drinking, inactivity and poor diet can age a person by 12 years or more. As evidence of this, they pointed to the fact that Nick Nolte is actually 25.
The Hollywood sign has been spared from urban sprawl thanks to a $900,000 donation by Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger called the sign a "symbol of dreams and opportunity," which can now be seen by waiters and day laborers for years to come.
Allegany County's tourism director says a ban on alcohol in state forest campgrounds is prompting some people to go elsewhere for outdoor fun. Other campers, however, have decided to stay and focus their attention on more natural forms of entertainment, like grass and mushrooms.
The wild turkey is back in vast numbers due to a vigorous mating season. The turkeys have increased rapidly since the male turkey's relentless two-month quest to have sex with as many females as possible. Officials are even thinking of renaming the animal "The Tiger."
The largest ever World's Fair began this week in China, with an estimated $58 billion in food supplies and infrastructure enhancements, all of which were made in Indonesia.
The United States has experienced a greater percentage of deforestation from 2000 to 2005 than did any other country, according to a recent study. The majority of the loss is reportedly concentrated in George W. Bush's back yard.
David Kernell, the son of a Democratic Tennessee lawmaker has been convicted of two charges in the hacking of Sarah Palin's e-mail account. The account, however, held no messages, as they were all written on Palin's hand.
Maryline Blackburn, who beat Palin for the Miss Alaska title in 1984, announced that she will be running for a seat in the House of Representatives. Blackburn's qualifications include her desire for world peace and her ability to see China from her backyard.
Hugo Chavez has started Twittering about how happy he is to work for Venezuela, noting, "We will be victorious!!" Iran's president Aash-e Shalghamhas has followed suit on Twitter, telling followers, "Just tried a new Aash-e Shalgham soup and am off to torture infidels."
The suit O.J. Simpson wore on the day he was acquitted of murder has been delivered to the Newseum in Washington, D.C., where it will be part of a display focusing on his trial. Newseum officials say it was tough getting the suit to its new location, as the vehicle carrying it had to be chased for nearly four hours.
British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking is cautioning humans to "think very carefully" about whether we want to broadcast our existence to a potentially hostile universe. Hawking said an alien species might burn through its resources and search for new areas to exploit, adding, "oh wait...that's us."
Researchers have found that common bad habits including smoking, drinking, inactivity and poor diet can age a person by 12 years or more. As evidence of this, they pointed to the fact that Nick Nolte is actually 25.
The Hollywood sign has been spared from urban sprawl thanks to a $900,000 donation by Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger called the sign a "symbol of dreams and opportunity," which can now be seen by waiters and day laborers for years to come.
Allegany County's tourism director says a ban on alcohol in state forest campgrounds is prompting some people to go elsewhere for outdoor fun. Other campers, however, have decided to stay and focus their attention on more natural forms of entertainment, like grass and mushrooms.
The wild turkey is back in vast numbers due to a vigorous mating season. The turkeys have increased rapidly since the male turkey's relentless two-month quest to have sex with as many females as possible. Officials are even thinking of renaming the animal "The Tiger."
The largest ever World's Fair began this week in China, with an estimated $58 billion in food supplies and infrastructure enhancements, all of which were made in Indonesia.
The United States has experienced a greater percentage of deforestation from 2000 to 2005 than did any other country, according to a recent study. The majority of the loss is reportedly concentrated in George W. Bush's back yard.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
"Spitzer" – The Movie, Wii teaches monogomy, and coconout oil addictions
German researchers have developed a new technology that lets drivers steer cars using only their eyes, which move the car in whatever direction they're looking. So far this has led to a breakthrough in automobile engineering, and the deaths of dozens of attractive women.
Israel has ended its ban on Apple's iPad, which was imposed over concerns its wireless signal could be disruptive. Prior to the ban, at least 10 iPads were seized at the country's international airport, where security guards are still trying to figure out how to make calls on them.
A much-anticipated documentary about former New York governor Eliot Spitzer premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. Ashley Dupre, the former call girl involved in the scandal, was not interviewed for the film, however, as she was busy working that night.
A new lawsuit alleges that the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Naples, Fla., recently honored a British couple's request to not be served by "people of color" or those with foreign accents. The couple did, however, unknowingly allow both parties to spit in their food.
A new Nintento Wii game for girls aims at boosting self-esteem, by filling its screens with messages from famous women telling them they can do anything, even be president. Wii plans to create a similar game for young men with messages from famous athletes telling them they can do anything, even be monogamous.
A proportion of people who repeatedly use tanning beds may actually be addicted to them, according to new research. Signs of addiction include waking up in random tanning beds surrounded by empty bottles of coconut oil.
A new Arizona law allows policemen to ask people who look like illegal immigrants to provide documentation of their residency. Police haven't had time to do anything else since the law was enacted.
England's Medical Research Council are saying that computer brain games may not offer the big mental boost many were hoping for, such as increasing general brain power on other tasks or increasing IQ. The games do, however, increase the likelihood of living in your parents' basement well over the age of 30.
An 18-minute film that traces the life of a plastic bag, called "The Plastic Bag," is gaining popularity on the Internet. A follow up to the movie, called "Another 18 Minutes of Life You'll Never Get Back," is already in the works.
McDonald's said its sales have risen across all its global markets, earning the company $1.09 billion. More impressive is the direct correlation between the growth of the fast-food chain and its customers' waistlines.
The new Disney film Oceans is getting great reviews, as it features shots that include rare fish in their natural habitats and an ocean floor crawling with crabs. Movie critics are calling the movie enthralling, while food critics are calling it delicious.
According to a survey from the Pew Research Center nearly 8 in 10 people in the country say they don't trust the federal government and nearly half say the government negatively effects their daily lives. Next researchers plan to poll people outside of the Republican Party.
Britain's Foreign Office apologized to Pope Benedict XVI after the publication of an internal memo that included jokes about him launching a brand of condoms and singing a duet with Queen Elizabeth II. The Pope accepted the apology and is meeting with British officials to brainstorm further business opportunities.
Stan Benjamin, director of NOAA's Forecast Branch for Global Systems Division said that while volcanic ash has caused billions in damage to the airline industry, "There may be some nicer sunsets over North America this week." Earlier in the year, Benjamin noted the sailing opportunities created by Hurricane Katrina and looks forward to the "barbecue weather" provided by global warming.
Israel has ended its ban on Apple's iPad, which was imposed over concerns its wireless signal could be disruptive. Prior to the ban, at least 10 iPads were seized at the country's international airport, where security guards are still trying to figure out how to make calls on them.
A much-anticipated documentary about former New York governor Eliot Spitzer premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. Ashley Dupre, the former call girl involved in the scandal, was not interviewed for the film, however, as she was busy working that night.
A new lawsuit alleges that the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Naples, Fla., recently honored a British couple's request to not be served by "people of color" or those with foreign accents. The couple did, however, unknowingly allow both parties to spit in their food.
A new Nintento Wii game for girls aims at boosting self-esteem, by filling its screens with messages from famous women telling them they can do anything, even be president. Wii plans to create a similar game for young men with messages from famous athletes telling them they can do anything, even be monogamous.
A proportion of people who repeatedly use tanning beds may actually be addicted to them, according to new research. Signs of addiction include waking up in random tanning beds surrounded by empty bottles of coconut oil.
A new Arizona law allows policemen to ask people who look like illegal immigrants to provide documentation of their residency. Police haven't had time to do anything else since the law was enacted.
England's Medical Research Council are saying that computer brain games may not offer the big mental boost many were hoping for, such as increasing general brain power on other tasks or increasing IQ. The games do, however, increase the likelihood of living in your parents' basement well over the age of 30.
An 18-minute film that traces the life of a plastic bag, called "The Plastic Bag," is gaining popularity on the Internet. A follow up to the movie, called "Another 18 Minutes of Life You'll Never Get Back," is already in the works.
McDonald's said its sales have risen across all its global markets, earning the company $1.09 billion. More impressive is the direct correlation between the growth of the fast-food chain and its customers' waistlines.
The new Disney film Oceans is getting great reviews, as it features shots that include rare fish in their natural habitats and an ocean floor crawling with crabs. Movie critics are calling the movie enthralling, while food critics are calling it delicious.
According to a survey from the Pew Research Center nearly 8 in 10 people in the country say they don't trust the federal government and nearly half say the government negatively effects their daily lives. Next researchers plan to poll people outside of the Republican Party.
Britain's Foreign Office apologized to Pope Benedict XVI after the publication of an internal memo that included jokes about him launching a brand of condoms and singing a duet with Queen Elizabeth II. The Pope accepted the apology and is meeting with British officials to brainstorm further business opportunities.
Stan Benjamin, director of NOAA's Forecast Branch for Global Systems Division said that while volcanic ash has caused billions in damage to the airline industry, "There may be some nicer sunsets over North America this week." Earlier in the year, Benjamin noted the sailing opportunities created by Hurricane Katrina and looks forward to the "barbecue weather" provided by global warming.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Snakes, nude performers, and white supremacists
A female guest at a Hampton Inn hotel in Nebraska was about to sit on the toilet, but stopped, due to a snake slithering in the bowl. The woman has reserved the same room for the next two weeks.
According to an annual report on airline performance, 2009 was a good year for the airline industry. More than 79 percent of flights arrived on time, fewer than 4 bags per 1,000 travelers were lost or damaged – oh yeah, and there was that one time a huge plane didn't crash into the Hudson.
To celebrate Earth Day's anniversary, the EPA is asking for video clips of people holding up signs saying "It's My Environment" on paper that would otherwise be used for something lasting more than five seconds.
The success of the Red Cross text-messaging program is shifting the way money is raised for relief efforts. More than $32 million has been raised for Haiti, people are still texting to help Chile, and The Red Cross has even set up a direct line for supporters of Dick Cheney.
A non-profit group that exposed the overseas dumping of U.S. electronic waste has launched a program to ensure companies don't dump old computers and other electronic waste in U.S. landfills, but rather dispose of it properly by recycling it or selling it on craigslist.
The Smithsonian Institution said Thursday that it has licensed its renowned gem and jewelry collection to create a line of accessories with the TV shopping network QVC. The collection includes the famous Hope Diamond, Marie Antoinette earrings, and Larry King's first wedding ring.
According to a new policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics, pediatricians need to work harder to discourage teens from drinking alcohol because it damages their developing brains. R. Kelly is questioning the accuracy of the study and will explain why to any teen over a drink.
Visitors to a nude exhibit at New York City's Museum of Modern Art have been asked to leave because they are touching the "art." Performers have apparently complained of being pushed and prodded by attendees, while some patrons are just happy they could finally get their husbands to the museum.
A white supremacist group rallied against illegal immigration in downtown Los Angeles Saturday. The rally didn't last long, however, as protesters had to get home to watch their relatives on Jerry Springer.
President Obama wants the government to embrace a grass-roots approach to conserving the nation's rivers, coastlines, farms, forests and other outdoor spaces. This is a slightly different approach than that of President Bush, who wanted to rip up grass roots and look for oil.
Tiger Woods completed his return to golf, finished fourth Sunday in the Masters, five shots back of winner Phil Mickelson. Woods said of his finish. "I had too many mistakes. I hit the ball too poorly on the weekend." Officials are calling that the understatement of the year.
CBS Masters announcer Jim Nantz is criticizing Tiger Woods' on-course behavior at Augusta National, saying "If I ever uttered those same words ... I would be fired." Actor Christian Bale, however, said he saw nothing wrong with Woods' remarks.
According to an annual report on airline performance, 2009 was a good year for the airline industry. More than 79 percent of flights arrived on time, fewer than 4 bags per 1,000 travelers were lost or damaged – oh yeah, and there was that one time a huge plane didn't crash into the Hudson.
To celebrate Earth Day's anniversary, the EPA is asking for video clips of people holding up signs saying "It's My Environment" on paper that would otherwise be used for something lasting more than five seconds.
The success of the Red Cross text-messaging program is shifting the way money is raised for relief efforts. More than $32 million has been raised for Haiti, people are still texting to help Chile, and The Red Cross has even set up a direct line for supporters of Dick Cheney.
A non-profit group that exposed the overseas dumping of U.S. electronic waste has launched a program to ensure companies don't dump old computers and other electronic waste in U.S. landfills, but rather dispose of it properly by recycling it or selling it on craigslist.
The Smithsonian Institution said Thursday that it has licensed its renowned gem and jewelry collection to create a line of accessories with the TV shopping network QVC. The collection includes the famous Hope Diamond, Marie Antoinette earrings, and Larry King's first wedding ring.
According to a new policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics, pediatricians need to work harder to discourage teens from drinking alcohol because it damages their developing brains. R. Kelly is questioning the accuracy of the study and will explain why to any teen over a drink.
Visitors to a nude exhibit at New York City's Museum of Modern Art have been asked to leave because they are touching the "art." Performers have apparently complained of being pushed and prodded by attendees, while some patrons are just happy they could finally get their husbands to the museum.
A white supremacist group rallied against illegal immigration in downtown Los Angeles Saturday. The rally didn't last long, however, as protesters had to get home to watch their relatives on Jerry Springer.
President Obama wants the government to embrace a grass-roots approach to conserving the nation's rivers, coastlines, farms, forests and other outdoor spaces. This is a slightly different approach than that of President Bush, who wanted to rip up grass roots and look for oil.
Tiger Woods completed his return to golf, finished fourth Sunday in the Masters, five shots back of winner Phil Mickelson. Woods said of his finish. "I had too many mistakes. I hit the ball too poorly on the weekend." Officials are calling that the understatement of the year.
CBS Masters announcer Jim Nantz is criticizing Tiger Woods' on-course behavior at Augusta National, saying "If I ever uttered those same words ... I would be fired." Actor Christian Bale, however, said he saw nothing wrong with Woods' remarks.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Casual sex, iPads, and bacon between breasts
The suit, tie and shirt that O.J. Simpson wore on the day he was acquitted of murder have been acquired by the Newseum in Washington. Simpson, however, is denying he ever owned the clothing.
Major companies are stepping up their recycling efforts to be more eco-friendly. Target has launched recycling stations at all U.S. stores and Whole Foods Market has incorporated drop boxes for recycling wine corks. 7-Eleven, meanwhile, is contributing by reusing its coffee from the night before.
President Obama has declared himself "African-American" on the U.S. Census form. Spokesman Robert Gibbs said Obama had no hesitation on the question. K-Fed, however, is still torn on the issue.
The government said it will charge Toyota $16.4 million for holding off on notifying authorities about its safety problems. The law says an automaker must tell the government about a defect within five business days after discovering the problem. Banks, however, do not have to notify the government until the entire market collapses.
Thousands of U.S. homes tainted by Chinese drywall will need to be completely gutted, as the material has been linked to the corrosion of wiring, computers, and China's otherwise stellar reputation for safe, quality merchandise.
A sociologist at the University of Iowa College of Liberal Arts and Sciences has found that people in nonromantic sexual relationships are likely to have multiple partners. He asked 783 heterosexual adults how many people they had been sexually involved with during their most recent relationships. He then asked if he could be added to that list.
After weeks of hype over the new touch-screen tablet, Apple is now acknowledging that the device sometimes has trouble connecting to the Internet. On a message board on Apple's support site, several people said laying the iPad on a flat surface worsened the problem, but shaking the device while cursing at it did make them feel better.
Hyundai announced that its new flagship luxury car, the Equus, will have an iPad in lieu of a printed owner's manual. The iPad, however, will come with an owner's manual, which can be stored conveniently in the car's glove compartment.
Phoenix police are investigating an incident on a Southwest Airlines flight where a woman allegedly grabbed a child who was kicking the back of her seat. The mother's police report claims the woman shook her son and slammed him back on his seat, but fails to mention the standing ovation she got from fellow passengers.
European airline Ryanair announced that is will be the first in the world to charge passengers to use the restroom. A trip to the bathroom will cost travelers about $1.55, with a $5 surcharge being imposed on persons who had Mexican the night before.
Spirit Airlines has become the first airline to say it will charge fliers for putting carry-on bags into its overhead storage bins. That news came this morning as part of a complicated new fee and fare scheme that has customers paying to join Spirit's "$9 Fare Club" and also encourages them to pay a $25 "safe landing" fee.
Republican national chairman Michael Steele on Saturday acknowledge errors regarding his committee's decision to spend $2,000 at a sex-themed California night club, saying that had committee members spent $3,000, they would have actually gotten to touch the dancers.
Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas has set a new record as the first cruise ship to sail with more than 6,000 passengers on board, or 3,000 when filled with passengers from Wisconsin.
Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood recently raised eyebrows when he said biking and walking would get the same consideration in transit projects as motorized transport. Power walkers, however, will still get made fun of.
KFC plans to nationally roll out a sandwich that uses two boneless chicken fillets as the bun — then squeezes two pieces of bacon, two slices of cheese and some sauce in between. KFC's president was scheduled to hold a press conference on the topic, but fell into a cardiac arrest shortly before the event.
Major companies are stepping up their recycling efforts to be more eco-friendly. Target has launched recycling stations at all U.S. stores and Whole Foods Market has incorporated drop boxes for recycling wine corks. 7-Eleven, meanwhile, is contributing by reusing its coffee from the night before.
President Obama has declared himself "African-American" on the U.S. Census form. Spokesman Robert Gibbs said Obama had no hesitation on the question. K-Fed, however, is still torn on the issue.
The government said it will charge Toyota $16.4 million for holding off on notifying authorities about its safety problems. The law says an automaker must tell the government about a defect within five business days after discovering the problem. Banks, however, do not have to notify the government until the entire market collapses.
Thousands of U.S. homes tainted by Chinese drywall will need to be completely gutted, as the material has been linked to the corrosion of wiring, computers, and China's otherwise stellar reputation for safe, quality merchandise.
A sociologist at the University of Iowa College of Liberal Arts and Sciences has found that people in nonromantic sexual relationships are likely to have multiple partners. He asked 783 heterosexual adults how many people they had been sexually involved with during their most recent relationships. He then asked if he could be added to that list.
After weeks of hype over the new touch-screen tablet, Apple is now acknowledging that the device sometimes has trouble connecting to the Internet. On a message board on Apple's support site, several people said laying the iPad on a flat surface worsened the problem, but shaking the device while cursing at it did make them feel better.
Hyundai announced that its new flagship luxury car, the Equus, will have an iPad in lieu of a printed owner's manual. The iPad, however, will come with an owner's manual, which can be stored conveniently in the car's glove compartment.
Phoenix police are investigating an incident on a Southwest Airlines flight where a woman allegedly grabbed a child who was kicking the back of her seat. The mother's police report claims the woman shook her son and slammed him back on his seat, but fails to mention the standing ovation she got from fellow passengers.
European airline Ryanair announced that is will be the first in the world to charge passengers to use the restroom. A trip to the bathroom will cost travelers about $1.55, with a $5 surcharge being imposed on persons who had Mexican the night before.
Spirit Airlines has become the first airline to say it will charge fliers for putting carry-on bags into its overhead storage bins. That news came this morning as part of a complicated new fee and fare scheme that has customers paying to join Spirit's "$9 Fare Club" and also encourages them to pay a $25 "safe landing" fee.
Republican national chairman Michael Steele on Saturday acknowledge errors regarding his committee's decision to spend $2,000 at a sex-themed California night club, saying that had committee members spent $3,000, they would have actually gotten to touch the dancers.
Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas has set a new record as the first cruise ship to sail with more than 6,000 passengers on board, or 3,000 when filled with passengers from Wisconsin.
Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood recently raised eyebrows when he said biking and walking would get the same consideration in transit projects as motorized transport. Power walkers, however, will still get made fun of.
KFC plans to nationally roll out a sandwich that uses two boneless chicken fillets as the bun — then squeezes two pieces of bacon, two slices of cheese and some sauce in between. KFC's president was scheduled to hold a press conference on the topic, but fell into a cardiac arrest shortly before the event.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Gay cities, gang tours, and chalupas
A blog post in the San Francisco Chronicle lists the "gayest" cities in America, based on the number of resident gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people. While San Francisco surprisingly did not make the top 15, Iowa City, Austin and Asheville, N.C., did. Teenage boys throughout the U.S. were surprised to find that the rival towns they often referred to as "gay" did not make the list.
Rhode Island sausage company has issued a recall of 1.2 million pounds of ready-to-eat pepper-coated salamis, sausages and other cured meats because they may be contaminated with salmonella. Iowa City, Austin and Asheville, N.C. have offered to take the unusable meat.
Glen Bell Jr., an entrepreneur best known as the founder of the Taco Bell chain, has died at age 86. The company did not release a cause of death, but instead reduced chalupas to half-price in his honor.
LA Gang Tours has officially launched and promises insight into the gang activities of South Central, LA. Risks of the tour include coming into contact with actual gang members and possibly hearing one of their demos.
Some Chinese manufacturers barred from using lead in children’s jewelry have been substituting a more dangerous metal — cadmium. Apparently there was a surplus left over from the unused baby formula.
Hundreds of subway riders in New York City, Washington, San Francisco, Seattle and even Mexico City participated in the 9th annual "No Pants Subway Ride" on Sunday. However, most people without pants in New York were unaware of the event.
Rhode Island sausage company has issued a recall of 1.2 million pounds of ready-to-eat pepper-coated salamis, sausages and other cured meats because they may be contaminated with salmonella. Iowa City, Austin and Asheville, N.C. have offered to take the unusable meat.
Glen Bell Jr., an entrepreneur best known as the founder of the Taco Bell chain, has died at age 86. The company did not release a cause of death, but instead reduced chalupas to half-price in his honor.
LA Gang Tours has officially launched and promises insight into the gang activities of South Central, LA. Risks of the tour include coming into contact with actual gang members and possibly hearing one of their demos.
Some Chinese manufacturers barred from using lead in children’s jewelry have been substituting a more dangerous metal — cadmium. Apparently there was a surplus left over from the unused baby formula.
Hundreds of subway riders in New York City, Washington, San Francisco, Seattle and even Mexico City participated in the 9th annual "No Pants Subway Ride" on Sunday. However, most people without pants in New York were unaware of the event.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Voodoo spells, Hannah Montana, and illicit affairs
In a series of interviews on Friday, Richard Heene maintained his innocence about false reports his son floated away in a helium balloon. Americans responded by changing the channel.
Police in a small Ohio town are looking for two young girls — believed to be 12 and 14 — who robbed a bank. Residents are told to be on the lookout for anyone wearing nylons over their heads and Hannah Montana T-shirts.
China is taking tentative steps to generate natural electricity with mirrors and sunlight. To avoid costs associated with environmental regulations, supplies will produced in Indonesia.
The Environmental Protection Agency has proposed stricter standards for smog-causing pollutants in the U.S. The new rule replaces the one set by the Bush administration of 0.075 parts per million — except for Halliburton.
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is not contesting his wife's divorce petition to end their 20-year marriage. In a statement, Sanford said he fully supports the decision, as does his Argentinean mistress.
Louisiana State Penitentiary has started a Baptist seminary for inmates who want to become ministers in the nation's prisons. A similar program for Jehovah's Witnesses failed due to a lack of doors in the prison.
Michelle Obama has been featured in a PETA ad that she did not consent to, after making a statement that she does not wear fur. A similar situation occurred last month when she was unknowingly featured on the cover of Iron Man magazine.
According to U.S. officials, Iran has been hiding a large part of its atomic complex in maze-like tunnels across the country. Either that, or there is a ginormous rabbit stockpiling uranium.
ESPN 3D is launching on June 11, with at least 85 live sporting events scheduled for its first year. Among the events are the Summer X Games, NBA games, and World Women's Mud Wrestling.
A large study in Australia has found evidence that women with husbands put on more pounds than those who without. However, once divorced, women immediately drop 175 lbs.
A Twitter protest campaign has prompted the White House to reschedule the State of the Union, so as not to compete with the season premier of Lost. In response, all other Americans faced with this bleak reality will be staging a mass suicide.
Police in a small Ohio town are looking for two young girls — believed to be 12 and 14 — who robbed a bank. Residents are told to be on the lookout for anyone wearing nylons over their heads and Hannah Montana T-shirts.
China is taking tentative steps to generate natural electricity with mirrors and sunlight. To avoid costs associated with environmental regulations, supplies will produced in Indonesia.
The Environmental Protection Agency has proposed stricter standards for smog-causing pollutants in the U.S. The new rule replaces the one set by the Bush administration of 0.075 parts per million — except for Halliburton.
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is not contesting his wife's divorce petition to end their 20-year marriage. In a statement, Sanford said he fully supports the decision, as does his Argentinean mistress.
Louisiana State Penitentiary has started a Baptist seminary for inmates who want to become ministers in the nation's prisons. A similar program for Jehovah's Witnesses failed due to a lack of doors in the prison.
Michelle Obama has been featured in a PETA ad that she did not consent to, after making a statement that she does not wear fur. A similar situation occurred last month when she was unknowingly featured on the cover of Iron Man magazine.
According to U.S. officials, Iran has been hiding a large part of its atomic complex in maze-like tunnels across the country. Either that, or there is a ginormous rabbit stockpiling uranium.
ESPN 3D is launching on June 11, with at least 85 live sporting events scheduled for its first year. Among the events are the Summer X Games, NBA games, and World Women's Mud Wrestling.
A large study in Australia has found evidence that women with husbands put on more pounds than those who without. However, once divorced, women immediately drop 175 lbs.
A Twitter protest campaign has prompted the White House to reschedule the State of the Union, so as not to compete with the season premier of Lost. In response, all other Americans faced with this bleak reality will be staging a mass suicide.
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